I iz instulted

Mama set down to uze da puter an' I heered "ARFUR!  GET IN HEER!  Hu spitted awl ober my skreen????  HUH?"

 Now let me teww ya, I did not spit on da puter.  Reelly.  A widdle fly wuz peskin' me wen I rote my blog da udder day an I did shake my hed wunce.  An' mebbee a widdle drool wuz on my flooz, but I did not spit on Mama's puter skreen.  How cud she say dat?  Dat reelly makes me feel instulted, ins..insisted?  insulated?   Waddever.

Whut abowt her laffin' at her fwenz jokes wif coffee in her mowf, huh?  Whut abowt dat?  Whut abowt Vito likkin'...wate.  Lets not go dere.

Ennywayz, enuff until after tonite - CROOZ NITE - YES!!!  An' I wiww hab mor to tell!!

Arfur

2 in wun day - WOW!

Okeydokey.  Mama taked us owt wile she pooperskoopered, den we gotted lokked in.  Vito sez, "BOWT TIME!  Da grasses is tikklin' my wizzer an I HATE dat!  Den she wunders wy we pee on da dek - HMPH!"  Yup, shur enuff, we heer da big bloo monster dat Mama habs traned to eet da grass.  She shur iz brave to ride dat monster!  Ennyway, comin' in da gate, she stopped.  We cud heer her scrapin' da grasses owt from under on da part she cawls da deck.  Den we heer "EEK - whut's dat??"  She came runnin' in an tode us dat wen she scraped da grass owt, dere wuz a furohshus jiant feeld mowse layin' on hiz bak lukkin' up at her.  How skerry!  She wuz not skerred, but came in to tell us whatfer da yellin' so we wud not wurry.  She sed it wuz so big she fot it wuz a chikmunk.  Gess hu wuz owt dere to meet him?  Yup.  Da Pippicat.  Mama did not see her ketch him, but beweev me, she nebber ebber loses.  Her sez,"a rodent a day keeps da vetman away."  EEeeeeeewwwwww.

Funderstwuk

Dat wuz Mama wen we habbed compinny da udder day.  Now ober da yeers, Mama habs bin teechin' me dat peeple ar nice an' will not hurt me.  Sumtymes I beweeved her, sumtymes I did not.  Wen I did not, weww, wets jus' say I wuz not a shiny zample ov basset fwendlyness.  Howebber, Vito haz helped me lurn to relax an' luv to get doze pets!!  Hey, udderwize he hogs dem awl!  Now don' get me rong.  Der ar sum peeplez dat I jus' do not wike.  Peer, uh, peeer....fooey!  Dat is dat.  But lately I eben meeted my mos' terrubble emnemey an' gess whut?  I butted him fer pets.  I leeeened aganst him fer pets - an still he only petted Vito - patooey!   I like goin' to crooze nites, so I shur gonna be frendly to ebrywun!  Still, Mama wuz so empressed.  But hey - dat iz not da story dis time.

 Da fokes wuz habbin' dere fwend Walt to dinner...yummy stake!  After dinner dey wuz tawkin' an' Walt told Papa, "Dat iz da frendlyest dog I hav ebber met.  Wen Papa lukked ober spektin' to see Vito, der I wuz leenin' into Walt an' nudgin' him to keep on strokin'!

Mama sed I iz her Pride an Joy - duz dat meen sheez gonna make me wash da dishez?

Nite games

KA-FUNK...ka-funk.  KA-FUNK...ka-funk.  Den Mama heers - KAFUNK!! WHAM!!  She jumpid owt ov bed an dwagged her sewf down da stares sayin' "whut iz goin' on down heer????"  Vito iz sleepin' on da cowch.  Pippi iz peekin' ober da kitchin gate.  Yu cud heer her chucklin' "dat stoopid dog", den, "why iz Mama roonin' owr game? - I wiww play it ennyway"
ka-funk - over da gate she hops.  KA-FUNK offa da cowch Vito hops - thunk thunk thunk, ka-thunk!  Bak ober da gate she leeps.  Ov corse Vito nebber wiww ketch her.  Pippi iz waaay faster dan him.  Bak up on da cowch he goze.
Now Mama cawt on pwetty kwik.  She sent Vito upstares to bed an' gibbed Pippi sum kitty tweets an' a leckshur.  Den whut happins??  Mama (now bak in bed) starts itchin'.  skritch skritch skritch...toss 'n' turn.  Her gots beez.  Wate - gosh I miss Hugo - not beez.  Yu gets it, doncha?  Doze fings beez livs in.  HIVES - dats it!  She kep' Vito an' me awake wif her skritchin'!  Hmmm.  Yu fink she wuz gettin' eben?

Arfur

Stwange goins on

Awl dis week Papa habs bin payntin' da porch.  Now befor he did diss, he gated us offa it cuz he wuz fixin' bords an' nales an' stuffs.  So for a looong time we hab not had owr sunning spot an' Mama habs not had her wash dryin' rope. PLUS awl hims toolz an' supplyz hab bin in Mama's stove room.  Wen da payntin' started, da doggy dore wuz lokked.  BOO!  Mama bin takin' us owt da front dore to pee an' last nite she wawked us down da street afore bed.  It wuz hot an' muggy an' eben we did not fink it wuz fun, but az we got to da nex' street, we turned an' gess hu wuz followin' us.....da Pippicat.  She wuz wawkin' rite behind us down da street.  Iz dat weerd or whut?  Stoopid cat.

We iz lukky dat now da paynt iz dun an' dryin' an luks gud.  But Papa iz so meen - he wiww not let us go on owr porch cuzza Vito.  Yep.  Da messidj is "no pee on da porch".  Patooey.  Da gate iz still up.  For now.

Da nurv ov him!

Dis day we gotted pwezents frum owr mama.  Vito gotted hiz furst and da hole time he wuz gettin' it, I yelled at Mama to teww her I shud be furst. Wen she wuz dun, dere stood Vito in a cote made ov leeshes.  It habbed a fuzzy chest fingy too.  Den, she started to put mine on me an' Vito twied to get hims fat liddle hed in MY cote!!  Mama sed dey ar called seetbelts to repwace owr hammock houndy holder fer da car.  Mama putted him aside an' finished fittin' me wif my noo seetybelt.  Den gess whut?  She taked us in da car to twy dem owt an' we gotted chikky nuggets at Burgie King!! YUMMY!!!  Even tho I cried awl da way dere, I did not cry at awl comin' home wif my mowf fulla chikky!!

So happy to be bak

Hooooeeeeeeee!  I am finely back.  My burfday wuz dis past week an' I got a stwange kwestchun frum mama.  She asked me to help her pull her hed owt ov her glass.  Now dis did not make enny sents to me cuz she did not hab a glass ennyplace neer her.  But I tode her I wud be a gud boy from dat minnit on.  An' ya know whut?  I bin reel gud.  I stopped barkin' to get my bwekfast in da mornin'.  Dat wuz  a big wun.  Now I go an' get my hedgiehog an' payshuntly wate fer her to get her sewf owt ov bed an' down da stares an' make da coffee an' fill owr boles.  Whew!  Dat iz hard werk, but I pwomissed.
Next, wile Vito wuz doin' sumfin' bad dis mornin' (peein' on dad's deck rite in front ov him)  I stoled a bag ov libber biskotties, brot it down stares an' wawked rite up to Mama an' dropped it at her footies,  Now how iz DAT fer gud??  I fink I got her rite ware I want her now, so we wiww see how dis werks owt,  Meenwile, I am bein' az gud az a big boy can be.

Now I gottsta tell ya, da last few mumfs hab bin reelly tryin'.  First Unka Bill went to da bridge,  Den Mama wuz in da hopspittle,  Reely sik.  Den, wile she wuz gettin bedder, Papa gotted bronkesoritis.  Not gud, cuz Mama turned dat germ into Pnoomoanya.  I am shur dat iz spewwed rong,  She wuz on a masheen to breeve an wuz too tired to do ennyfing but pet us.  But da wurst part wuz it taked so long.  She maked us miss Mishygun, da Boredwaddle, Memoryal Day, awl ov June an' part ov Jooly.  But now she iz owt shoppin' fer stuffs to make up fer owr burfdays an' fings ar lukkin' up.  We habbed a bad time da last 2 weeks wif annyversaries ov Granpa at da bridj, Antie Judy gettin' murderd, Nana to da bridj, Unka Tom leevin' us last yeer, an' Unka Herbie da basset luvver of awl time leevin' fer da bridj, too last yeer, Now we iz plannin' owr picknik, plannin' vaycayshun, an' gettin' reddy fer da trakter puww dis Friday.  Papa iz SOOO XSITed!!
well, da sekreterry iz gettin' tired (she iz jus' barely keepin' dis job!)  So we will tawk tomorrow cuz derre iz so much mor to teww,
Soo glad to be bak on da air,
Arfur