Mama's on da warpaff an' we iz pisst

Mama iz reelly reelly mad rite now cuz wun ov us (I not tellin') peed on her swiffy fingy. Heer iz da story...
Vito an' me go to wots ov trubble to spred owr furs awl ober da howse.  Dat way, peepull kin see dat we liv heer an' ar in charj.  Mama coms along an' swiffies up aw da hare evry day - den Vito an' me gotsta spred owr hares all ober again. Patooey!  We tried to let her see dat we wanted owr hares dere.  But NO, she jus' hazta  swiffy doze up an' fro dem away. So - we peed on da swiffy.  She left it in da baffroom so it wuz on da shiny flore so we fot she wud not get mad.  RONG!  She wuz fyoomin'!   She still gots smokes comin' owta her eerz an' her iballs ar burnin' red an' her vanes ar standin' owt on her nek. Gess we wiww not do dat agan - but den mebee we wiww.  How else ar we gonna get owr messidje akross to her?  Doze ar owr hares. 
Oops gotta go...da cabul man iz up on da pole an' mebbee we cud make him nervuss an' fawl down :)

Later,
Arfur