Bwave Arfur

Wast day, Mama putted me in da car an' stawted to get in but stopped. Pitiful roooing fiwwed da air an' it wuz comin' from da bak yawd. Back into da howse she wan, gwabbed Vito's leesh (wif him on it) ran bak to da car and loaded us up.  We habbed a nise tosty ride, watchin' da seenery and den we stopped. Mama opinned da dore an' WAYDAMINNIT!!! Dis iz da vetlady! I iz NOT gettin' owt. Nope. Whelp, she puwwed, an' tugged, an' pleeded an' den awl ov a sudden - YANK!! An' der I wuz, standin' in da parkin' wot. Not gettin' me in da dore, not gettin' me in dere. Dwat! Weww, I am NOT goin' in dat widdwe room. Dey cawwed my name an' I wuz a gud boy an' gotted on da steppy fing. Don't no wy but she awways sez a number wen I get off an' she sed 52...same as wast time. So az we wayted dere, I wuz lukkin' forwerd to peenut budder wike wast time. But wate! It izn't da vetlady! Its a stwange man. He zoomed in da dore, petted me an' tawked to Mama. Nex' fing I am rizin' up on a taybull dat goze up wike befor, but no peenut budder. Da man chekked my eerz, my teefs, my wumpies, an wile he wuz tawkin' I did not eben reelize he cutted my toe bonz! Den he sed he wuz gonna giv me a shot, take bwud, an' suk sum stuffs owta da wun wumpie. Never eben fewt da shot (wen did DAT happen?) I stud wike a man wen he taked da needull in my weg an' gotted bwud. An I wuz da bestest boy I ebber wuz wile I stud for him to stab my weg an' suk da stuffs owt. Did not eben fwinch. Awl da time da man wuz pettin' me, feewin' me, tawkin' to me an' to Mama an' I reelly did not mind it at awl! Eben I wuz spwized. Mama wuz fwoored! Corse I almose had to ketch her wen dey gibbed her da biww. After awl, I AM a senyior hownd. I gotted 2 piwws an' a skwipshun, bwud werk, wumps tested, an Mama gots a cup an' a ketcher fing to get me to pee (wich I wiww not do) cuz I wud not pee fer da tek pawson. She haz her werk cut owt fer her, cuz I iz not wettin' ennybuddy ketch my pee, not eben my Mama.
Ennyhow, I am a helfy howndy. I gots a P.S.!!! Da doc jus' cawwed an' eberyfing wuz gud!! Yippee!

Tiww nex' time...

Arfur