My dad da hewo

Dad wuz eetin' hiz bwekfast  befor leevin' fer werk, wen Mama sez "Did yu heer dat?" but in her own werds. We cud heer a funka funka fump klitter klatter kwash in da seeling over owr TV in da udder room. Dad went n' gotted a wadder an' climed up, opened da seeling (big skware tiles) an' fownded a mowsie wif hiz tale cawt in a twap. Dad gotted him owt, ran owt da dore, an' putted da unhurt mowsie waaaay down da hill away frum da howse. Dad haz made wun mowsie a vewy lukky happy kweecher.
 Unwike Mama, hu cawted 4 mowsies in her twaps in da kitchin an onwy wun ov dem gotted let go - da udders were ded. Da wun she wet go she dwopped owtside the dore an' gess whut? It ran rite bak into da howse I'm pwitty shure. It's gettin' pwitty bad cuz da Pippicat iz gettin' too old to keep da howse mowsie fwee enny mor. Owr howse iz weelly weelly old an' habs a stone seller so mowsies get in eezy. Dey iz sorta cute, but Mama sez dey iz icky. Fer today, owr Dad iz a hewo - at weest to da mowsies.