Mphrmgurmphfm!

Skuze me fer tawkin' wif my mowf full. I steeled a tater frum da mama. I luv doze taters.  Not hot wuns, da krunchy wuns. I bin not gettin' mama to rite fer me cuz she iz lurnin' da noo winders. Ten. Gots no ideeah whut dat iz, but she iz bizzy. So I be bak da nex day to tawk abowt da noo ad venchers.
Till den,
Arooooo!!! Be cool!
Arfur

Keep smilin' - wike me! Arfur!

Da winner an' stiww CHAMPEEN!

Vito has twied agan and agan to beet me in resslin'. First ov awl, he duz not hab da mussels I do. Nex', he habs no tradgedy - he jus' jumps rite at me an' twies to get on me. He awlso duz not hab my hansum muskyler butt. Evry time he jumps at me, I swing my manwy butt into hiz face. Dis only gets him crayzier an' trize harder to beet me. I jus' stay cool an' calm an' swing da ole butt an' keep my stance pawfeckt. No way iz da liddle brat gonna beet me!!  Now I am off to pwee pare fer da nitely fite...(not reely a fite, gess its a tussle). Gonna stwetch an' loosin up deez ole joynts. Don't let ennybuddy teww yu dat yu cannot win if yu iz old. Dey iz rong. I am a winner. Every day. Evry fite, Evry time.
Til nex' time,
Arfur

Waach dawgs

AAARRROOO!!  Gud day frum Arfur. Vito 'n' me slep awl day an' only wokeded up a cupple times to swap seets, go owt an' pee, an' wunce wen dere wuz sumbuddy dat did not belong at owr dore. Mama wuz up puttin' away cloze an' stuff an' awl ov a sudden Vito's wooked wike a porky pine. Hiz hares wuz standin' strate up an' he wuz buzzin' in hiz frote. Now, bein' a seenyer hownd, I did not heer whut he did, but my snooter pikkeded up a stranger! Mama sed it wuz creepy cuz we did not woof an' we stud reel still.  She wooked owt da upstares an' dere wuz not a car. So she went bak to werkin'. But we stayed on gard awl day long. Wen' Papa camed home, we went bak to nappy (after wots ov hiya papa hiya papa hiya papa woofs). Now later, Mama an' Papa go nitenite. I go owt den com to bed. Vito, goed owt an' stayed owt, keepin' gard an' wawkin' da fense line. Mama habbed to get owta bed an go down an' get him (bofe ov dem wuz not happy abowt dat!) Got him up da steps an' omigosh she shutted da dore! Dey nebber do dat! But Mama sed we wuz actin' so creepy awl day, she wuz not gonna let us keep her up awl nite. So whut happinned? We ackshully snoozed awl nite long until da moozik came on to wake dem up. Huh! S'prize!! Now, whut we gonna do today? Hmmm...I am shur we wiww find sumfin' to keep her a lert.
Til nex' time,
Arfur

Vito iz not dis smaww enny mor  - he iz az big az me

We ar innosent

AARRROOO!! Arfur heer. I am gonna do my vewy best to rite bedder sinse I am a big boy now...elebben yeers old!!

Now, dis is whut happinned dis mornin' - or mebby I shud start wif last nite. Mama habbed cutted da grasses, did da wash, fixeded her sucky masheen (da eevil skerry wun!!) an' suckeded da hares offa da rug, started supper an dat funny bell fingy rang. We cud heer it wuz Papa. Da truck wud not start. Meantime, Mama tryin' to get evryfing reddy cuz Papa has to see da toofy doc. Whelp, Papa gotted a ride home, went to da toofy doc, - 'member now Mama iz drivin'...she went to da store meentime an' den taked Papa for da part (after da toofy fixin' guy) whut she gotted on da 'puter.

 Fast forwerd...dis mornin' she gotted his cloze, makeded hiz lunch, maked dat coffee an' brekfast, gotted hersself reddy an' went to drive him to werk. OOPS. Needs her glasses.  Runs to desk ware glasses sit on Mr. Peepers. Puts dem on an' sez a bad werd. Whut happinned?? Sumbuddy putted noze pwints on her gwasses so she cud not see nuffin!  NUFFIN!! Hey, not me!  I bin a bad boy, but I nebber tuched Mr. Peepers EBBER. I lukkin' at Vito...don't fink he cud get up dere eben if he iz a climer (and he iz). Waytaminnit! Do yu heer dat? Psssssttt!! Meoooww! Meow! Dat Pippicat tried to fwame us!! She iz da gilty wun! An' dere iz Mama lettin' her owt da dore az she is leevin' to take Papa to werk. She did not eben get scolded.  How come owr eeerz get skorched wen we iz bad - "BAD DOG!! Yu shud not do dat!!"  Why I not am heerin' "BAD KITTY! Yu shud stay down!" Life iz not fare. Hahaha...luk at dat! Vito iz drinkin' up her water an' taked awl her kitty tweats owta da dish! Gud fer him! Gettin' evin iz da BEST! Stoopid cat!
Till nex' time..
Arfur

Bak in da blogger agan

AAARRRROOO!! Arfur heer, an nudder yeer older an' a widdle mor machoor, but still feelin' spunky an' ov corse in trubble az yuzual.  Wet me say HIYA to awl my ode fwends an' to enny newbeez dat ar reedin diss.

I hav a vewy impawtant job now. I keep my widdle brudder owt ov trubble an' keep my mama frum divin' bak into her shell. Mama tried to teech me to hide Papa's buzzy saw an' loppy sheerz, but he kin go ware I cant. Vito an' me bin tryin' to ketch a widdle buzzy fingy dat Mama caws a hummer. Awl Vito gets ar fwies, beez, an' wunce in a wile, a moff. Ya see, he kin clime on da tabul an' me, not so much. Dats wy I am Leadbottom.

Vito eetin' a fwy (yu no, da buzzy kined)

Eben tho owr gotes iz gon, we still habs sumfin' jus' like dem.  Vito sez dey iz deerz. Wun gots big ol' hornies an' da rest dont. Dey com evry day awl da time an' sweep owtside owr fence in da bushes an' by da frunt dore in da grass. I fink dere ar mor ov dem awl da time, but hay, dey awl luk da same wike Wabrador Weetweevers do.

Arfur machoor an' wize

Whelp, it iz my nappy time an' I wiww be bak dis nex day. Dunt wurry, I wont dis apeer agan. I iz bak werkin' on a noo bookie. I may be slow, but wissen, I hav to deepend on my Mama to type sinse I gots no fums an no pinkies so typin' iz imp..uh, not eezy.
Til nex tyme..
Arfur

Da free legger hedjehoggy

Ebery mawnin' I wake Mama up wif kisses...wait - dats not twoo.  Furst I butt her in da bak ov da hed, DEN I gib her kisses.  If she gets up kwik enuff, I stay owt ov trubble.  But cuz she iz gettin old she iz movin' slower so I run down da steps an' if dere iz a pare ov pants handy, I choo off da buttin.  But sumtimes I am gud an' get my hedjyhog to keep me owt ov trubble.  Hmm..dis time I musta gotted confyoozed.  I gotted my hedjyhog (an' I AWLWAYS take gud care ov my hedjyhogs) an' I bited off hiz leg.  Did not hurt hiz body, but now he iz a free legger hedjehoggy.  Mama wuz way too slow gettin' owr brekfist.  Dat iz Vito's fawlt cuz he gotsta hav soff fuds.  So Mama haz to get it reddy insted ov jus' frowin' kibble inna dish.  So now my noo hedjehoggy iz a free legger.  Cuzza Vito.
Tiww da nex tyme,
Arfur

Da unvizibull dog strikes agan

Mama waked up at free a.m. to da sownd ov skreeming.  Lowd, skerry skreeming wuz owtside da howse.  I wuz a smart boy an' stayed in my bed.  Mama, on da udder hand, seed dat Vito wuz not heer, wuz down stares, so she gwabbed da lite an' dasheded down da steps in her jammies (not warm wuns).  Vito beeted her owt da dore eben wen she tole him NO.  Owt she runned, shinin' da lite arownd tryin' to find Vito, hu inside or owt iz unvizibull.   She wuz hopin' to ketch hiz eyez cuz dat iz da only way to see him.  Az she cawt him in da lite, da lite also shined in da wuds an' gess whut!!  A nickzillyun deers came cwashing fru da wuds, fru da gote pen, ober da fenses in a panik.  Da skreemin' iz DEM!  She fot it wuz a fox or a rabbit bein' kiwwed (dey sownd awful).  Ok, now she dont wanna skere da deers so she iz yellin' to Vito to go inna howse.  He not only not lissen, he vanishez.  Ok, she iz freezin', her hart iz powndin', she iz mad, skerred, an' upset wif da widdle bwat.  Froze up her hanz an' goze inna howse.  She not climin' fru da stikker bushes to get da snotty widdle bwat.  Finely he coms in an she loks da doggy dore, loks us inna bedroom, an' twies to go bak to sweep...HAH.  A cupple howrs layter, I butt her wif my snooter, den kiss her onna wips to wake her up.  She iz not frilled.  But she gibbed me a skritch an' a hug an' tole me whut a gud boy I wuz to not go runnin' owt to hewp Vito last nite (whut I wud normully do).  She did say da poop angel wuz watchin' ober her, cuz inna dark last nite, she did not get enny on her swippers.  Gud fing. I bet she takes a nappy dis day.  Her peepers wook priddy red.
I fink my sekruterry iz bak, so I wiww be ritin' agan eech day.
Later,
Arfur
P.S. - Da skreemin' wuz lowder dan diss:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdrY9GirB9U