Whew! Am I lukky!

I skaped a terrubbel fate wast nite but Vito wuz not so lukky.  Furst let me say if yu fink "dat's rude", "he gots no tayst","ewww" - whelp yer rite.  I am a dog.  I tell it wike it iz.

Evry nite, I sleep in  my doggy bed dat wuz made by Antie Angel(I shud stop der dats whut she iz)ika.  It iz so cozy an' I do not get oberheeted.  Now, Vito sweeps in da big bed wif Mama an' Papa.  Sumtimes he sweeps on top ov da cuvvers an' dey spend da hole nite tryin' to pull da cuvvers cuz he hogs dem an' wen he iz asweep he feels wike a hippy pottymuss holdin' down doze blankies.  Udder nites, wike wast nite, he sleeps under da cuvvers.  Sumtimes at da bottom ov da bed owt ov harms way, an' sumtimes he gets rite between Mama an' Papa - a stoopid moov.  Now furst yu gots to heer dat Vito kin sweep fru ennyfing.  He sweeps wike a rok.  Nuffin' wakes him up (speshully Mama or Papa tryin' to get him to moov).

Now I kin say awmost nuffin' wakes Vito.  Da room wuz kwiet an' evrybuddy wuz sownd asweep ('sept me cuz it wuz my watch).  I wuz snuggled in my bed, Papa wuz gentwy snorin', Vito wuz tukked under da cuvvers, an' Mama wuz kwietly sweepin', too.  Suddenwy I heered a widdle "pffffpffuff!"  Nex' fing I new, Vito pops up an' shakes hiz hed ober an' ober.  "Fwapawapawappa!  Fwapawapawappa!" "SNORT!"  Den he turns awownd an' puts hims hed by Papa (he had had hims chin on Mama's butt) an' afore he settled, he shaked hims hed agan.  Wet me tell yu, it made MY eyez wadder an' I hadda burry my noze in da blankies, so it must hav reelly skunked Vito!  Papa an' Mama slep fru da hole fing.  But we iz pritty shur da culprit wuz Mama.  She habbed too much fwax seeds wif bwekfist, den Papa taked her to Bugger King fer lunch an' rooned her conjestchun.  Da result wuz a tocksik clowd ov tewwibull  gas.  Vito iz stoopid if he sweeps under dere agan.  Nex' time it cud be werse...it cud be Papa!!  Whew!!

Later,
Arfur























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