Time warp

Ebber sinse da day Mama taked me to da Vetman, sumfin' odd haz happinned.  It haz Mama rippin' her hares owt an' Papa wawkin' arownd wike a wobut.  I am bak on Dawite sayvins Time.  Not jus' fer meels - no, dat wuz da furst fing.  I wake dem up wun howr before da noyze fing goze off.  Ackshully, I dont fink dey hav hurd da alarm fingy for ober a week.

Dis is how it werks:  I wawk ober to Mama's side ov da bed, stand up and furst I fump my tale aganst da wall.  Den, I soffly wine.  Jus' a liddle so it duz not reelly wake her up.  Den...WHAM!!  I butt her in da bak ov da hed wif my noze. DAT iz whut gets her to say..."go bak to sweep Arfur, it iz not time to get up yet".  I wet her doze off a widdle - she snuggles bak in and den...WHAM!!!  I butt her agan.  Dis time she wets me get up on da bed an' snuggle a minnit but I do not seddle down, nope I do not.  I keep wigglin' an turnin' an' winin' soffly an' den I butt her jus' a widdle to let me down agan.  OK, dis iz da impawtant part.  I run downstares an' get my hedjyhog so she finks I am gonna be kwiet. I bwing it up nex' to da bed an' den.......

WOOF!  WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!  WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!  WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!  WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!  WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!

An' DAT duz it!

Tll nex time,
Arfur