Weerd week

We habbed a vewy stwanje week. Furst ov awl, Papa tode us at da wast minnit dat he wuz off frum werk. An' da sun shined, an' da leefs feww, an' it wuz warm. He an' Mama bloo leefs wike cwazy an' Papa werked in da barn, but da leefs kep' fawwin' an' Papa kwit werkin' on da twakters in da barn an' dey kwit da leefs too. Dey went to da seeshor an' weft us home. NOT  a happy fing fer me. Den, dey gotted sumbuddy to finish da noo howse culler at LAST. Not finisheded, but close. We habbed a weelly nice warm an' sunny day an' pwayed owtdores a wot. Den, we waked up an' it wuz CODE! An' wen we went owt to go potty, da rane wuz hurtin' us. Not rane! Ice wuz fawwin'! Den sno came an' we gotted to pway in it - weww, I pwayed in it. Vito - he wud do a kwik pee an' dash fer da dore. Whut happinned to havin' fun in da sno? Vito not want to enny mor. Wun day wen Mama wuz kukkin', I fownd a widdwe tiny sharp fingy on da flore. Every time I twied to chew it, it hurted an' I shaked it owt ov my flooz. Mama seed me an' I gave it to her (sorta). She wuz reel happy I gived it to her fer sum reezon.

Weww, da leefs ar stiww under da snow, da traktor gots a pwow on it, da howse iz awlmose paynted, Mama gotted to see da oshun, da sun an' da warmf gode away, an' da wud stove iz keepin' us warm. Pwetty soon it gonna be turky day wif no turky fer Vito 'n' me. But Mama sez der wiww be a sprize. Hope its a gud wun!

Mor nex' time!

Arfur

Bizzy Bizzy Bizzy iz not gwate fer hownds

Watewy, Mama an' Papa be buzzy awl da time - whut Vito? Oh, yeah, it's "bizzy". Between payntin' da howse, pikkin' up leefs an' awl dere udder stuffs, we iz gettin' shirt chaynjed. We wud wike to go to da pawk evwy day! An' to ice cweem evwy day! An' to Bugger King fer chikky nuggets evwy day!! We iz tired ov leef peepin' an' poopin', naps on da sofa, layin' in frunt ov da wud stove an' borin' stuffs wike dat! Jus' today, Mama an' Papa gotted two comalongs to Kwissmuss pawties. An' Fanksgibbin' meens we be home awone agan. [big powt]  Meenwiwe, Vito n' me iz watchin' Mama emty da dwyin' masheen, fode da cloze, kuk da suppew, vacyuum da - wate a minnit - we do not watch her do dat...we go owt da doggy dore cuz we HATE da sukky masheen. We gots her reel con fyoozed. Cuz we luv da leef bwower. Mama kinnot figger owt wy we not hate bofe ov dem. Its a howndie fing. BWAHAHAHA!!!

Later,

Arfur

Arfur's Fanks

Da sun iz shinin' owt an' we iz goin' to hav a fun day. Wen I sit an' fink a widdwe, dis wist camed to my hed.
1. I am gwad I am not a peepull wif da werries dat go wif dat; dat I am a howndie wif a mama an' papa hu luv me.

2. I get fuds wen I am hungry an' sometimes jus' fer a tweet.

3. I hav a hole bunch ov warm beddies an' blankies an' sofas to sweep on. An' I kin sweep wenebber I want.

4. I wiv in a howse an nebber hav to be cold or wet or awone.

5. I hav wots ov toys, wots ov fwends an' a big yard to pway in.

6. I have a brudder. Sumtimes dat is gud.

7. Da onwy fings I need mor dan deze fings, iz hugs an' pets an' snuggwes frum my mama an' papa an' dere fwendz.

 I wuv my mama an' papa. An' I shur hope dat wen Mama bwows leefs today she duz not find da unders I taked from her woom wast nite. Dey iz hided in da leefs. Mebbe wen she bwows dem, dey wiww stay hided. Pweez?

Later,

Arfur

Wodent Pwaygwownd

We bin heerin' dis big noyz owt side. It iz wike sum buddy iz wunnin' acwoss da frunt ov da howse. Mama keeps wookin' owt, but nebber seez nuffin. Vito an' me don't eben get up frum owr nappies. We NO dat it iz nuffin' skewwy. But Mama - she iz goin' nutty. Evwy time da noiz happins, she goze runnin' to wook owt da dore twyin' to find owt whut it iz. Nuffin'. Dats whut we keep tewwin' her.

Ok, heew coms da noiz. FUMP!! fump fump fump BANG! Funka funka funka WHAM! Den nuffin'. Der she goze...wunnin' to da dore, wookin' owt - haHA!! Suk sess!! She seez whut iz doin' it an' az soon az she gets dwessed, she iz gonna fix it.  Stoopid wodents!! An udder hard werd to say - skwewwewls. Not chikky munks. Da gway fings wif da fwuffy tales. Wen Papa wuz payntin' da howse, he taked off da gudders. Wun ov dem iz sittin' in Mama's rok gahdin an' iz up aganst da howse. Da fuzzy wodents ar runnin' along it, makin' it bump aganst da howse, den dey jump to da porch (da big sownd), den dey go bak an' duz it da udder way. So awl day long it iz FUMP!! fump fump fump BANG! Funka funka funka WHAM!! I fink da nex' "wham" we heer iz gonna be da end ov da wodent. Or at weest da wodent pwaygwownd. Skeeyooz me, gunna go bak to sweep. [ big yawn].

Nex' tyme,

Arfur

Bizzy Dayz

AARRROOOOO!!! Arfur hewe, bin reelly reelly bizzy. We garded da howse wen Mama an' Papa taked da too legger up to see Gwamma. We did such a gud job dat dey bwotted us chikky an' sammin fishy. Az soon az dey wawked in da dore I cud smeww dat yummy box! [big deep sniff] Aaaaaah - da hebenwy awoma! An' it tasted so gud too!!

 An' we wet Mama no wen sumbuddy wuz owtside hu did not bewong hewe. She wooked owt an' did not see enny wun but we kep' growlin' an' woofin' until she seed da twuk leev da dwiveway takin' da big twayler! But it came bak wayter. We don't weelly woof at peepull goin' by enny mor unless day gots a pwaymate for us. But dey nebber stop so we gave up.

Den Mama bwoke down an' cutted owr toe bones. OWWY! [weww, not weelly - but we want her to fink dat]. She gotted Vito's dat wuz so long day wooked wike doze big spydews dat wiv in da dezert. Don't ask me to say da name. Tardy chillas or sumfin wike dat. Den Papa gwabbed me an' Mama did my eerz. Whew! I wuz so reeleeved. But den she sprized me an gwabbed da front puddies an' cutted doze nales. So now I onwy cwik in da bak. At leest we gotted kukkies fer bein' gud.

Now da best wun. Mama sed I yam a gwate teecher. It only taked 9 yeers, but Vito now duz my twik. Wen Mama sez "weev it!" He weevs it. If she sez "no" he sumtimes wissens. But he duz "weev it" at wast. She tewws him not to opin da gate but he duz most ov da time. But wen he goze to steel da kitty fud if she sez "weev it" he stops an' comes to her.  Eever he iz vewy stoopid, or vewy bwite. Me? I hog down az much az I kin befor she gets dere, DEN I stop. I weev a liddle bit so she finks I wissened wike a gud boy. hehehe.

Weef hoppin' day dis day!! Hav a gud wun! Don't turn on da tewy vizhion or yu wiww go kwayzy - dont say I did not warn yu!

Arfur

Nu pwaymate! An' how to be payshunt.

Mama bin bwowin' leefs evry day. Wast time az she opinned da dore, she fownd owr fwend watin' fer us to com owt an' pway. He wuz sittin' on da chare rite owtside da dore awl sof' n' fuzzy an' gray. She jumped abowt a fut cuz he did not wun away. Corse not!! He wuz watin' fer Vito n' me! Hiz name iz Sammy an' he iz a skwurwel. Turns owt hiz grampa wuz da memesis ov Bwossom menny yeerz ago. He tol' us da story ov her sittin' unner hiz twee awl day wifowt mooovin' watin' fer hiz gwamps to com down. Jus' wike me. Wast nite.

Papa habbed a doktor vizit, den da ferapy vizit, den day eeted owt an did not bwing us a box! But Papa wuz da hewo - he camed home 'n opinned hiz wunch box an gess whut!! He did not eet hiz chikky sammich! So gess hu gotted to eet it!! Yup!! Vito n' me!! Den Papa went to watch dat pikchur box an' Mama wuz reedin' a buk. Me? I wuz shur dere wuz a big cwum on da kitchin flore. I sat owtside da gate. I cud snuffwe (Mama sez snuffle) sumfin' on da flore owt dere, so I cwide. An' I cwide. An' I cwide. An...I CWIDE!! Mama cud not take no mor. She gotted up, pikked up da kitty fud, den let me go inna kitchin. Nuffin. Der wuz NUFFIN!! My noze duz not fale!! Wy wuz der NUFFIN?? Dat Pippicat musta eeted da crum. Dat stoopid kat. If she didn't hab rayzer footies, I'd show her! Nex' fing, Papa stiww watchin' hiz show, Mama reedin' her buk, an' me? I wuz siwentwy nappin' in my dog bed. Papa cud not beleev it. Hey, I no wen to kwit. Not so dum to push my wuck.
Tiww nex' time,

Arfur

Mama's a battwefeeld

Mama gode to da peepull doc an's she seemed fine wast nite, sept she wuz reelly reelly tired an' went to bed erly in da middwe ov wun ov her fayvorit moovies. It wuz cawled Sumner Went All. Dis mornin' it wuz vewy cleer she wuz not feewin' gwate. She wuz swower dan normull furst ov awl. Den she did not do her reglar stuffs. I fownd owt da doktor shooted her!!! (Weww, it wuz da nerse, but da doc tole her to). An' she shooted her too times!! Bofe arms ar hurtin' her an' she sed she feews wike a war iz goin' on inside. Dat mite be da hyoodje piww she habs to take awso. She twide washin' cwoze, gotted sweepy. Twide bwowin' leefs, onwy gotted haff way down da gwass.  Washeded dishez, but da masheen duz dat. Now its dinner an' I hope Papa iz cawshus. I'm not shur she noze whut she iz puttin' init. Den dey goze to PT fer Papa - good wuck! Hope dey have a cot fer her to sweep on!. Ennyway,
Layter,

Arfur

Mama mangulls meeses

Mama bin pwetty cwazy abowt findin' mowse poopies on her dwyin' masheen. Skwub, skwub, spwayin' wif Wysow, den off to da store. Home she camed wif a yewwow bag an' she dasheded into da wawndwy room. Nex' fing we no, she iz bak foldin' cloze an' washin' an' dwyin'. Big misterry. Nex' mornin' - GESS WATT!! Der wuz a twap wif a widdwe mowse body in it. Eezy twap, Mama piks up, holds ober twash, pinchiz wike a cwoze pin...AWL GONE!! Az soon az da mowse iz owt ov it, da twap iz set to ketch da nex' wun. We ar now on mowse numbew fwee wif no end in site. An' Mama iz much mow happy dat dey iz gon.

A widdle note abowt da climin' we did on da compost piwe. I wuz achy awl nite long an' kep Mama awake. She wuz owt ov doggy piwws, awso.  She gode to da peepull doc today wif saggy peeperz. But she stiww wuvs me. <3 a="" boy.="" i="" iz="" lukky="" p="">Latew,

Arfur