Gettin' da slave in shape

After waay too menny dayz of habbin' to wade fru da jungull to go potty, an' sufferin' da hoomillyayshun ov havin' da gwass tikkle owr nebberminds, Mama cutted owr gwass!!  Now we wuz heerin' tons ov eskyooses - too hot, too wet, too raynie, not home, too tard, too lazy ( ha! I putted dat wun in dere!), nee hurts - NO MOR ESKYOOSES I SAYS!  Go owt dere an' cut owr grasses!  An' she did.  An' ya kin be shur it wuz a gud job cuz Vito ran rite owt an' waddered it.  Now we gots owr papa cleenin' da porch...duz dis stuff nebber stop?

Hab a gud day...
a happy but diss gusted Arfur

Best day in a wile

No buddy went enny ware today.  We gotted to sleep an' play awl day long an' get treets an' stakes an' stuffs.  Mama did not want to go owt cuz she breeved in too  much dust at da fare yes turdday.  She bin weezin' awl day.  Papa wanted to werk on hims wawl so he digged awl day.  Now it wuz waaay too hot to pway owt side so Vito an' me taked wots ov naps, den got up an gotted treets frum Mama to be gud, den taked an udder nappy.  Wen da sun went down we pwayed an' ressled a widdle bit den taked an nudder nappy.  Gud day!  Bedder day cuz Mama gwilled stakes an' we gotted sum!  Mama tawked awl day abowt how gwate da band wuz wast nite, but she wuz hackin' away in between wurds.  Dat womin shud lern to keep owta doze dusty pwaces dat daddy dwags her to.  She did, howebber, go will...er,  she, weww, she went wifowt sayin' "no" or "don't wanna".  Mebbe it wiww keep her home da nex' day an' we kin hav her wif us den, too.  Shur hope so.

Nooz update frum wun negleckted hownd

Furst I gotsta say it iz not my fawlt.  Mama wud not let me on da 'puter wifowt her sooper vizh, uh, wifowt sooper v...aw heck, wifowt her watchin' me!  An' ov corse my pawsies ar too big to hit da rite keez, too.  Wets see...ware to start.  Hmmm...
Okay, dis mumff we got left alone waaaay tooooo  much.  Furst it wuz to NY an' dey wuz reelly sad.  Mama sed Unka Tom went to hebben.  Den, it wuz to PA wif da tracktor an' Papa wuz awl de- presst cuz no buddy cud go see him pull da tracktor.  Now dis wun, I can teww da story!  He an' Mama taked Big Red on da truck an' he wuz sayin' after a yeer ov werkin' on it no buddy wud see.  Whelp he wuz WRONG!!  Furst, he rand into a old furend he werked wif a zillyun yeers ago.  Dat helped cheer him up.  Den Mama gotted a weerd tex messidj frum hiz werk fwends of now.  Wassup wif dat, she sed??  But gess whut?  Dey awl came!!!  Dey came to see him drive Big Red.  Ok, now heer coms Unka John an' Antie Patty.  Dey iz gonna watch too!  Now Papa iz grinnin' frum eeer to eer - he cudda uzed eers like mine hehehe.  An' wen he puwwed, he wuz grinnin' an' watchin da crowd an' Ant Patty wuz yellin' "Kwit hammin' it up an' drive dat fing!"  An' dey wuz awl cheerin' cuz he went 82 foots!  (Last yeer wuz 45)  Dere wuz nebber a happier man dan owr dad.  Even tho' he gotted beet by 2 gurls hu puwwed further.  So we gotted wun happy story fer dis mumf. 
Wait !  I gots an udder wun!  Da Pippicat awlmost gotted eeted by a fox!  Ooops, dat wuz wishful finkin'.  She just gotted into a fite wif wun.  No buddy gotted hurt, but she skeered da pants offa Mama - Mama hu ran owt wif a broom an' wuz gonna beet da yu no whut owta dat fox!  But da fox ran away an' Pippi twied to chase it an' Papa gwabbed her an' sed onoyudont!!  Da reezon no buddy gotted hurt?  Da fox wuz on wun side of da wire fense an' Pippi wuz on da udder.  Not shur hu wudda wun, but Pippi wuz purty pissed off!  I gotta save sum fer da nex' day, so gotsta go -  remine me to teww yu abowt Unka Bob turnin' a big number an' a grate vizit wif Gramma - oh, an' - wate!  Yule find owt!  Bye.

Speshully cuz it iz a nickzillyun de greez owtside an' I need a nappy.
Stay kool!!
Arfur

Stwange days

We bin habbin' stwange days heer at Camp Arfur. Mama an' Papa hav bin bizzy an' happy den sad an' still bizzier. Furst der wuz da big red trackter dat Papa putted on weels an' taked away. He camed bak awl happy an' wifowt it, but wif da weelz to get it agan. Mama sed he taked it to werk to show it. Dat maked him happy.

Den der wuz messidjes an' wots ov teers. Vito an' I cud not take away doze teers eben. Den we heerd dem tawkin' dat Unka Tom wented away to hebben. Whut iz hebben? Mama 'splaned dat it wuz ware he cud vizit wif God an' Jesus an' his papa an' mama. Dat he is not sik dere an' it is bootyful. Isn't dat da bridje? Mama sed dat we cud say dat cuz dat iz whut we under stand. So we gonna spend a cupple dayz wif dem comin' an' goin' agan. An' dere will be teers an' der wiww be vizits but Unka Tom iz not hurtin' enny mor so frum owr poynt ov vyoo we wiww see him agan. Jus' not heer. Dis iz very sad fer da hoomans. Dey wiww miss him a lot. He wuz funny. He wuz smart. He wuz reelly speshul. He iz on da nex' jurney. Now Mama an' Papa need to be dere fer Antie Janet an' Gramma. Dey wiww miss him most ov awl.

Now abowt my brudder...cud sumbuddy teww him to kwit chewin' on my noze???

Dis is Tom, Papa an' Janet