Fawl iz heer

Fawl iz heer an' Vito an' me luv leef hoppin' an' collecktin' nuts ov evry kind.  Vito bin puttin' dem under my bed!  But werse dan dat, he steeled my bed dat Antie Anjellyka made dat he nebber eben looked at till now.  Den I have to go chooz frum wun ov da udder beds.  How menny yu ask?  Der be free in da bedroom wif Mama an' Papa plus da big bed ware dey sleep.  But I wikes MY bed!  Vito takes it, den wen I go to sleep, he moovs into da big bed wif da peepulls.  I only get it bak if I happin to wake up  durin' da nite witch duz not happin a wot.

Mama an' Papa bin at da traktor show so we bin alone cuz we cant go wif dem unless Mama takes her car an' dey onwy had da truk to pull Big Red.   So to treet us dis mornin', Mama made panny cakes an' snausadjes.  Now, no buddy shared dere snausadje wif us, but we always get panny cakes.  YUM!  Whelp, Papa gotted up to get sumfin' an' I sneekeded up to steel frum hiz plate.  No buddy wuz eben LOOKIN' at me but day bofe sed "Arfur!!  Get DOWN!!"  Mama sez I get twipped up by da "Arfur warnin' sistem", cuz ebery time, no madder how hard I try not to, ebery singull time I stand up on my bak wegs to steel, my hiney toots!  Iz dere a way to stop dis??  Ennybuddy?  It makes me get cawt ebery time!

 Whelp, owt to play leef hoppers wif Vito!  Whut a gwate day!
You gotsta heer da story nex' time ov da stwange nite smeww...BWAHAHAHAHA!!
Later,
Arfur

Playin' ketchup

So much habs bin goin' on dat I wish i habbed widdler paws so I cud type.  Mama iz gonna install Draggin so mebbe I cud teww da 'puter whut to rite - but wiww it under stand bassetese?  Ennywayz, I did not get much sweep wast nite.  Furst, Mama coffed an' coffed fer a wile, den dere wuz a noyzy vee hikkle goin' up an' down da street.  Now, furst, Mama wuz gonna caww da poleesmens cuz it wuz abowt middlenite.  Den she fot ov sendin' in da troops!  Yep, me an Vito ar da troops an' we wud woof at dat raskle until he went away.  HOWEBBER, Vito wuz so sownd asweep dat Mama cud not wake him...NOT ME!  I wuz awake, just restin' my ize.  Mama onwy fot I wuz sweepin' too. Ennywayz da nasty pawson finely must gotted tired ov bein' a pest an' went home.
Mama gotted up at nite an' fownd part ov Vito's noo colleckshun.  Dis time it iz not stinkybugs, not woolly bares, not stiks, nope none ov doze fings.  Dey iz hikkery nuts.  He  musta dropped wun on da steps an Mama gots a nasty brooz, too.  But dats ok, she iz fine now.  Ooops gotta go papa;s home!  Wooof!
later,
Arfur

Rodes, cars, 'n' basset wuvvers

AAAaaahhhhroooo!!  Arfur here wif wots ov nooz.  O, wook!  Dey iz payntin' da linez on owr rode!  Dey jus' finnished da middle an' dere ar zillyuns ov widdle cones along da line. Nex' dey wiww paynt da lines onda edjiz ober da weeds an' ded possums an' stuff...wike normal.  I wunder if dey wiww wemember to com bak fer da widdle cones?  Wast time, dey wuz in such a hurry to get to da wocal pub dat dey fergotted dem an' dey wuz in da rode fer free dayz - wun, too, free.  I gess after dwinkin' at da pub dey did not wemember dat dey weft dem dere.  BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

O now I wemember whut I wuz gonna rite - got d'strackteded by da line payntin' menz.  Furst, I gotta teww yu whut Mama's car wooks wike.  It iz owd, (Vito sez o-l-d) wite, an' cuvvered wif basset magnets - sum reelly gud wuns!  She eben haz sum dat arn't on it yet.  Not da car yer normul peepull wud dwive.  A cuppla dayz ago, a man  at da gas stayshun Mama goze to, jumpeded into a wady's car, puwwed a nife, an' sed he wud kiww her if she did not take him ware he wanted to go.  I hav to beweev it wuz a gway toy yoda or sumfin' wike dat whut wud bwend in.  Da lady skweemed weelly weelly lowd an' da man jumpeded owt an' ran but gotted cawt.  Der iz no chance dat ennybuddy wud take Mama's car wike dat.  Furst ov awl it iz abowt az vizibull az a pig in a pizza parler.  Secund, Mama iz daynjeruss!!  Reelly, she iz!  I wud not want to tangull wif her cuz furst she wud hurt him, den she wud skweem, den she wud cawl wun ov her fwendz on da poleesse to put him in jayl.  But furst ov awl, no way wud he chooz her car.  Reelly.

An' gess whut my wakky mama did?  She an' Papa wer dwivin' neer PetsMart wun nite an Papa spotted a man wif 2 basset hounds.  He turned into da parkin' wot (so Mama cud see da bassets), drove up to da man so he habbed him in hiz hed wites, den Mama jumpeded owt an' ran up to see dem.  Da man sorta bakked up a widdle an' cleerly wundered ware dis cwazy womin camed frum.  Mama tode him she wuvs bassets an' habs 2 an' habs hewped reskew fer firteen yeerz.  He wooked reweeved an' tole her he wuz from Florry Duh an' dat wun ov da bassies wuz a reskew.  I fink he wuz reddy to run, reelly.  I awso fink he wuz toe tully releeved wen Mama gotted bak in da truk.  He den twied to hurry to da dore ov da PetsMart az fast az he cud wif wun basset doin' a fwat basset an' wun pullin' da udder way.  Hehehe..did not get too far.  Dat wuz wun seeryuss fwat basset!  Hahahaha!
Till nex' time
Arfur