A nudder mile stone sez Mama

Dis mornin' I got into bed wif Mama an' Papa.  Evry time I do dis, I get a bewwy rub, sneez in Papa's face, an' tawk to dem.  Den I jump up an' run off da bed.
Dis day wuz so diffrent.  I got up an' rolled ober for my bewwy rub.  I reely fink Mama hip nodized me.  I wuz soooo relacksed an' Mama jus' rubbed an' rubbed my tummy an' stroked my face an' my eers an' I nebber sneezed at Papa or nuffin'.  I jus' put my head on hiz sholder an' let Mama keep on rubbin'.  After abowt a haff howr, I started to moan an' tawk to her an' tell her jus' how wunderfull it wuz.  She wuz so amazed to see me be wike a rag doll, she sed.  It wuz bootyful.  I hav awwayz bin a widdle nerbuss, but Mama sed dis wuz toe tull relacks sayshun.  Ebber sins den, I bin sittin' on Papa's lap an' dozin' off, not payin' at tenshun wen Vito bawks at me to get down, an' sharin' Papa wile he wuz sick.  I fink der iz majik sumtimes.  An' I fink I fownd it.

Arfur da rag doll

Arfur da rag doll

Dey did it!! Not me!

Vito takes a turn in da dawg hows today.  Mama wuz gettin' Papa reddy to go to da doc's an' Vito wuz chooin' an' chooin' on sumfin.  Jus wike bubbel gum he wuz chooin'.  Mama gode ober to see whut he habbed an' gess whut?  It wuz da heel ov da shoo she wuz warin'!!  Heez no dummy!  Didn't get cawt wif no shoo - not him!  He taked da part he wanted an' went in hims crate wif it.  Too bad he did not get to keep it.

 And so da hoomans wented owt to da 2 docs, wun fer Papa an' wun fer Mama.  Papa gotted da weezy coff an' dat doc gibbed him sumfin' frum Antie Biscotic to kill doze germs.  I fink dey cawled hiz Bronco Ritis or sumfin' wike dat.  Az fer Mama, after gettin' medisin fer Papa an' pikkin' up da junk male, she goed to see da toof surjin.  He gibbed her da big Hokay...heeled gud an' stuffs an' normal ayky jaw but udderwize gud.  Sed she cud get sum sleep, tho (she wooks wike a Holler weenie zombie wif da sirkles under her peepers).

OH!  Dere iz mor!!  Dat Pippicat iz in Holler weenie mode fer shur.  Az Mama came up da side wawk she seed sumfin' stwaynje.  Oh, no!  Dis be day javoo.  Dere wuz da tale ov a mowse.  (It eben habbed part ov dat hiney wif it....eeeew!)  And nex' to it wuz da noze an' 2 frunt toofies ov dat mowse.  Da vewy frunt an' da vewy bak...how twisty iz dat??  Dat Pippicat shud sine up fer a skerry moovie cuz tween da zombie chickmunk an' da peeses ov mowse she cud be da MONSTER!!
Whelp, Mama an' Papa ar awl upset bowt da snow on da way for to morrow.  It cud be deep dey ar sayin' it iz a Nor Eester an' doze ar TERRIBUL fings!!  Mama sez we habs seen enuff per sipper tayshun to drown in a hundrd times ober!  We iz pakkin' owr bags fer Arid Zona.
Til nex' time,
Arfur

In da dawghows...agan

I tole yu befor dat Papa habs a cold.  Yup.  But for free days he went to werk ennywayz.  So dis mornin' Mama sent him off wif hiz lunch an' a gud brekfist, den she did da email fing an' den went bak to bed wif Vito an' me.  Vito wuz waaay under da cuvvers, an' me, I sleep on Mama's piwwow wif da cuvvers just over my back an' snooter.  She puts on da nooz, den dozes off sumtimes.  Not dis day.  She wuz watchin' da nooz an' she fot she herd da Pippicat com in da doggy dore.  Bak to da nooz.  Den she heerz a noyz on da steps...den it stops.  Den she heerz mor steps on da steps an' she gets up an' wooks owt da bedroom dore.  She sez..."iz sumbuddy dere?"  An nudder step.  "HOOZ DERE?"  An den she seed Papa hu wuz chukklin'.  "Ware iz da dogs?"  he sez.  "Wy iz it kwiet?"  I fink I musta snored at dat moment an' he laffed!!  "Sum grate watck dawgs" he sez!!  "Wy did yu not send da dawgs owt???"  "Uh," Mama sez..."dey wuz asleep."  PATOOEY!  She hadda giv us away!  Now we iz got bad reps az watch dawgs!  Mama sez she noze dat if it wuz not Papa we wud hab been vishus, but dat we cud teww it wuz him.  Now he haz bin home awl day sick an' we iz keepin' him warm an' not werkin'.

Oh, yeah - Mama gotted com pleetly upset wen she wuz servin' soop at lunch.  Da Pippicat had bin in an' just gotted let owtside.  Papa satted down an' she put hiz soop down an' just az she putted it down, owta da corner ov her eye she seez sumfin' on da flore.  At dat same minnit, so did I.  Aaannd - afore she cud get it, I wawked ober an' gently swupped it up wif my wips.  She yells "DWOP IT, ARFUR!" but I wook at her vewy sweetwy an' wen she chekked my mowf...nuffin' iz dere.  "Yuuuuuk" she sez..." EEEEEWWWWW!"  She cud not tell Papa cuz she wanted him to eet hiz soop, but she an' I bofe noo dat I eeted dat big ol' rownd tick.  I don't choo nuffin', so it wuz eezy to jus' let it roll down my tung into my tummy.  hehehehe...

Nitey nite, awl.

Till  nex time,

Gard dog, garding...

Arfur

Playin' ketch up - not da red stuff

Fings bin sooo stwange heer.  Mama habbed a toof ayke an' went to da hooman vetman, den to da toof man, den to a difrunt toofman.  She wuz sorta grumpy fer a wile but iz feelin' so much bedder dat dis day we played Leef Hopper.  She got da wind stik an' blowed leefs awl ober da yard wile Vito an' me ran an ran an' jumped an' played an' sniffed an' snuffled awl ober da plays.
Now tell me - don't I speek cleer?  I no I cant rite reel gud, but don't I speek cleer?  Cuz I tol' Vito we wuz playin' Leef Hoppers.  He fot I sed Leef Poopers.  Well gess hu gotted der shooz awl durty an' iz mad at us now?  He shud cleen owt hims eerz.
No, Mama still iz not mad, she jus' lokked us in an' got owt da big bloo monster an' cutted da grass.  Now owr yard iz awl cleen an' pwetty until tomorrow wen da noo leefs com down wif da rain.  Blech.  Rain.  Did we not hab enuff?
OOOH!  Papa iz home an' he iz still snufflin' wif a reel nasty cold.  He leevs us lots ov yummy tishooz to cleen up (only wen Mama duz not get dem furst).  Wate!  Heer coms Mama in frum cuttin' da grass an' she iz awl green!!  Whut happined, Mama?  Seems da Pippicat cawt a chickmunk an' lef' it in da grass under da leefs ware Mama did not blow dem.  She sed it lukked like a zombie chickmunk wen she fownded it an' der wuz blud an' yukky stuffs...well we won't go dere.  Seems da bloo monster fownd it befor her. She hadda diss poze of it ennywayz.  Now she iz in da hows an' reely needs to rest a liddle.  Her cheeks iz not blowed up enny more, but da wun iz a liddle puffy so she bedder go rest. We don't want her to wook like a hyoodj chickmunk enny more...speshully a zombie wun...BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Soon,

End of bizzy day

Vito an' me nursin' Papa fru hiz cold

ARfur

Fired

Vito an' me bin fired.  Mama spent da day sandin' an' sandin' an wipin' an' blowin' on owr pikky nikky taybul.  She let us watch an' help now an' then wif owr tales.  Later she went owt an' started to wipe it wif a brush an' sum stuff dat wuz wet.  It smelled diffrunt.  We wanted to sniff it, mebbee eben tayste sum.  Mama kep sayin' "Shoo!"  "Away frum heer!" An' she huffin' an' puffin' an' eben brakin' a widdle swet tippin' it ober an' turnin' it a rownd....and "SHOO! dawgonnit!"  LEEV IT!!"  Da dredded command.  Leev it iz da big wun.  So off we went playin' in da leefs an' layin' in da sun - but...golly it smewwed sooooo gud we jus' hadda com bak an den we gots da stuffs on owr puddies an' Mama sez "don't trak dat in da hows" an' den, "SHOO!!"  Den she sed da helpers wuz fired.  Us.  Fired.  Whelp, az long az she lets us watch...

Noo Games

Mama bin blowin' leefs awl ober owr yard.  Vito lubs runnin' froo dem an' feelin' dat wind.  We made up a noo game.  We wate till Mama gets a big pile an' after we run froo an' froo an' froo it, we jump in da middle an' pee.  Da furst wun hu peez in da pile iz da winner.  Den we can tell how far Mama gotted on da next rownd cuz we markeded it hehehehe.  We had so much fun playin' in da leefs awl day.  Den Vito cheets an' jumps on da pikky nickky taybul ware I can't go (member my name? Leadbottom?)  Still, we habbed fun.
Till nex' time,
Arfur

Nooz flash

My dad iz yu neek.  He werks hard.  He iz a gud slave.  He iz priddy eezee wen it coms to sharin'.  However, Mama sed she had to wawk away in da Wall Mart.  He wuz lukkin' in da big bin ov moovees.  Dey had jus' filled it an' it wuz imp..., imp... it wuz hard to find ennyfing.  Soooo, Mama sed hiz OCD jeen tuk ober.  She had to go luk at udder fings.  Wen she came bak...total order in da bin.  No more mess.  All in neet roze.  Mama sed she had to smile cuz it reely iz funny.  Dad sed wen udder peeple came to luk for sumfin', dey saw whut he wuz doin' an' left.  She sed dey must hab fot he 'scaped frum sumware.  hehehe.  I lub my dad.  He iz da best, eben wif awl hiz ledders.  Mama sed he habs da ledders ADD, OCD, an' not too bad whutebber dat ment.  Jus' enuff to make him in trud resting...gosh I miss Hugo...he wud help me wif doze hard werds.  Whelp,
Till nex' time...
Arfur

Not alone in da doghows

'Member yes turd day?  I wuz in twubble?  (did da same fing today an' am bak in twubble too).  I am not da only wun.  Yep.  Not Vito.  Nope.  Not Mama.  Nope.  Papa.  Mama opinned da dore to go owt an' gess hu wawked in da howse????!!!  Cheezit.  Yup.  Dat gote.  Mama wuz not a happy pawson.  Sent Papa to fix dis con dishun rite a way.  Okay. Gote bak in fense.  Traktor on trayler, trayler on truck, Vito an' me in truck.  Whee!  An' away we went...gonna mek up fer scrooin wif Mamas nurvs.  We went to a pwace dat smewwed like hammyburgers.  It had wots ov peeples an' old cars.  It wuz rownd.  We sat an' in a widdwe bit camed Unka Mike an' Antie Alice!!  YAY!  Wots ov peeples petted us an' we gots tons ov livver bisk scotty.  We eben sniffed a nudder basset (sides Unka Mike's bassies) on da DJ man.  Her name iz Roxie an' she iz 17!  Den wen evry buddy wuz leevin' we gotted bak in da truk an' went to sleep.  Den gess whut!  We wuz HOME!  It wuz majik!  Whut a gud day - sigh.
Soon,
Arfur

secund puppyhood

I iz in twubble.  It all started wen Mama wuz cuttin' da gwass.  She ran da big bloo monster ober da front gwass, den came in da gate to do MY gwass.  On her way she went "WOO WOO WOOO WOOP! "  Yippee! Howndawgs 'n Indyans - hab not played in YEERZ!  I started woof woofin' back an' she gave da war cry agan!  Oh, fun!  But den she lokked us in, cutted da gwass, let us owt an' lefted us to do da barn feeld.  HMPH!  Whelp, still feelin' puppy-like, I came in da howse, taked Papa's pants an' choowed off da buttins.  Ah!  I had fergot how fun dat wuz...drag owt a shurt, choo off da buttins...oooh, yeaah!  Drag owt doze sokkies, chew owt da toze...sooo fun!  Dat 's enuff.  I am a gwown up houndie agan.  Now I gotta hide cuz wen she findz doze fings she wiww be reelly i rate.  I heer her up by da barn an' da gote still cuttin' gwass...fink I'll dig a hole in da bak yard an' hide.  HAY!  Kwiet, Vito you taddletale!

Nerbus Mama

Wunder wy Mama iz so upset.  We hav bin speshully gud dis day.  Just cawz da Pippicat brot in a frend to play wif an' it iz runnin' arownd in da seller (witch iz still kwite wet).  It iz sorta cute... a widdle chickmunk.  Yu wud fink it wuz a snake or sumfin da way she iz goin' on.  Oh, rite, and Vito bin gettin' up to go star watchin' abowt free o'klock in da nite.  Duz not bother me...I go owt to see whut he iz lukin' at too but fer sum reezin Mama dwags her big ol' butt owta bed to see whut Vito iz poyntin' owt to me.  Dis iz not normul cuz lately Vito bin skeered ov goin' owt at nite cuzza da mama bare an' her babies.  But I fink he figgered owt dat if I came wif him it iz ok.  Dats whut he finks.  I kin run faster dan him an' da bare cannot fit in da doggy dore :).  Ov corse, if I do not go, he puts hims hed owt da dore (only hims hed) an' goze potty.  Whelp, he IZ owt, rite?  Still, Mama iz upset.  Oops...dere she goze wif da net to ketch da chickmunk.  Its day 2 and da scor iz chickmunk 2, Mama 0...an dis iz after she leeved da seller dores opin awl day un-Sun Day.  Oh, an' Pippi only eets dem if dey ar owt dores.  Yep.


Arfur