Mama eeted a fli

Whelp, she awlmos' eeted it.  Evryfing wuz reellly eggsitin' here last nite cuz da two leggers wuz heer wif frenz an' stuff an' so I wuz givin' my yoozhual greetin' - "WOOF WOOF WOOF" an' Mama wuz at da 'puter wif her burbun an' peps tryin' to ketch up on her gmail.  Wuz not werkin' so she kwitted an' as she gotted up to say "hi" to da hole gang, she swigged the last ov her dwink.  Uh, whuts dat? she sez to herrself, it feeled wike a pees ov meat - spits in in her hand an' EEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!  It wuz a fli.  She did not hav da luckshurry ov gaggin' wif awl doze peeps dere, so she spit spit spit den wiped an' wiped wike a boy whut got kisst by a ole antie.  Den she sneeked to da likker cabbynet an' swigged down a hole jigger ov hooch...to kill da germs, she sed.  Nebber tole ennywun dere cuz dey were habbin' a nice bizit.  But da rest ov da nite, she pollished off a paket ov Listereeeen pokket paks awl by herrself.  She cud not sleep cuz it kep playin' in her hed.  I taked gud adbantidge ov diss by acksing her to go owtside at free o'clock...after awl she wuz still awake :).  Vito went wif me an' we played owtside an' I fink she mite hab gon to sleep by 4 on da clok.  hehehe  Den she had to be up at 5 firty to get Papa to werk.  Enny bets on did she go bak to bed??
Yu betcha.
Till nex time,
Arfur

Wen will fings calm down???

On da weekend, it wuz compunny - peepulls we reelly luv, den weft alone agan so Mama N' Papa kin go hewp Gramma wunce mor.  So it wuz wun day ov fun, den wun day alone...wif a big supprize at da end.  On da day we wuz alone, wen dey came home, dey spended time wif us an' watched a widdle tv, den Papa hedded fer bed.  A siren wented by, so Mama goed to da dore to see whut wuz up.  Awl ov a sudden, a car wuz dwivin' up to da dore, den a man gotted owt an gess whut???  It wuz owr two legger brudder Craig!  He camed frum You Tall to see us an' he wuz stayin'!!  It iz so grate!  He iz in an' owt ov corse, vizitiin' frens, but he iz da bestes skritcher dere iz in da hole world!!  OK, so fings gotted even bedder...Munday he came to stay an' gess whut?  Da udder 2 legger showed up too!!!  Whut a shok!  So Mama taked a pitcher cuz she sed Hebben noze wen dis will happin agan!  We howndies wuz not in it, but hu cares?  It iz hiss torik.  Didn't last long, da red hed left an' Craig stayed. We iz happy houndies.  Not az happy as da slabes, tho, I don't fink.  Till nex' time...
Arfur