Dad's bad day

Wen my daddy coms home he wikes to put hims footies up an' relax wif us howndies on hims wap an' watch da pitcher box. So he did dis an' turned on da box an' did not wook rite away...he cud heer it, but wen he lookeded, dere wuz no pitcher. Ok, so he checks da dish fingy, da remote fingy, an' da teck persun (Mama). Nope. Nuffin. Den he gets onda fone an' after tawkin' to sumbuddy he sed wif a sad face dat ta pitcher box habbed dyed. So him an' Mama went in da twuck an' wen dey camed back (dey seem to hab had a nudder adbencher wile dey wuz gon), dey habbed a big ol' box. Furst dey taked owt da ol' pitcher box, den emtied dis noo box an' Mama sez "Hode it! We don't tuch nuffin' till we reed da struck shins!! Hans off, DAD!!" Whelp to make a looooong loooong story short, after dey red, put togevver, set up, pwugged in an' awl dat stuff...it did not werk. Nope - nuffin. Papa wuz so sad he went to bed. Mama wuz up to da wee howrs werkin' on it. Da teck pawson for da tv wuz (she sed) a iddy yot. She went to bed. Dis mornin' she sent Papa off to werk an whut do yu no...she cawled da dish peeple. Dey iz (Mama sed) jeen yusses. Dey fixeded it rite off da bat(by tellin' Mama whut to do) an' now it werks. So Mama saves da day agan an' Dad's bad day shud tern gud wen he gets home an' he kin watch hiz telly an' snuggle wif Vito an' me.
TADA!!
P.S. Owr Unka Mike iz home an' doin' gud an' we ar happy! Owr Unka Tom iz in da vetspittle, but iz amay zing da doktors by doin' bedder so we iz still droolin' an' Mama iz still prayin' but IT IZ WERKIN'!! YAY!!
Till nex time,
Arfur

gess whut

Mama fownd doze pennies. I not tellin' ware. But da bak yard iz now awl cleened up.

Ponderin'

Mama bin wunderin' wy Vito an' me bin so gud since Hugo went away. We don't bark fer fud, we don't wake herz up, we eben pwetty much lissen to herz.

Waddebber yu do, dont teww her da anser to diss. Ya see, we bin tryin' to figger owt whut to do nex. Shud we chew sumfin up? Shud we drag stuffs owtside? Hmmm...bin a wile since we stoled Papa's pants ('member last yeer wen dey wuz frozen in da ice?) We wanna plan reel gud an' not get cawt. Dats wy we iz bein' fotful an' kwyet. Well, 'sept fer dis mornin' wen I went after da naybor at 5 am dat teezes me. Too bad der iz a fense or I wud take care o' him reel gud. hehehe...whut he don't no iz dat Peechez akross da street iz jus' waytin' fer him - BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Now, bak to finkin'...

A trip fru da alley ment tarry canal

Mama sed da wurst part ov winter is after da snow goze away (an' we still hab sum). She wuz doin' da spwing poop patrol. Yu wud pwobly not be s'prized whut she fownd. Wets see, she fownd da finger to her garden gluv. (Duz not want it bak). Fownd medissin bag #2 wif nuffin' innit (hmmm...hu ate da totems an' da sage?) Der wuz foyl lids to yogurts, buttins, pwobubbly da kwivalent ov a hole box ov tishooz, a pees ov plastik hoze, sumfin' brite bloo - oh, an' gote fud (it duz not digest in doggie's tummies). Der wuz a pees ov a weet fin box plus awl da yoozhual stuffs. Howebber, da biggest werry wuz da razer...not chood up or nuffin'. Yu no, wun ov doze fro away kindz ov razers. Gud fing sumbuddy lost it in da sno, huh? An' gud fing Mama fownd it furst! Dey ar nebber ware we kin get dem, so she iz tryin' to figger owt da story behind dat. Oops gotta go -

Later,
Arfur

Wish I tawt him dis wun

Last nite Mama an' Papa wer gonna go owt an leev us awl alone! Mama hadda print sumfin owt on da
'puter so her bak wuz to us. As she gotted up to leev, she put on her cote an' notissed sumfin strange in da doggy bed. She wooked, den wooked agan, den sed, "Waydaminnit! Isn't dat my pokky book???!!" "An' da wallit iz missin'!" "OK, ware izzit??" She did fownd awl da parts - eben da carefully hid lippystik dat Vito putted under da furnitcher. At leest she FINKS she fownd eberyfing - BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Dont tell her but I iz still cowntin' pennies an' nikkels...

Chomp! Chomp! Slurp! A hyoodj 'dvenchur

Smack! Chomp, slurp! Munch, munch...BURP!!
Oh...sorry. Hadda finnish eetin' dat. It wuz Mama's wast mater. Too bad she left it too close to da edje ov da cownter wen she made Daddy's wunch. YUM! I wuv maters!
I am finely feelin' bedder an' so I bin steelin' an' woofin' an' stuff.

But last nite wuz a big 'dvenchur fer Vito. Him an' me wuz in da yard an' it wuz dark awlreddy. I came bak in an' wuz nappin' but Mama cud heer Vito bawkin' an' bawkin' so she went to da dore to cawl him in. Did not com. She came bak in an' den mor woofin' so she goze bak owtside. No buddy arownd, no reezin to bawk an' most ov awl, no Vito. Corse, in da dark he iz very very hard to see cuzza hiz culler, so she figgered maybe he wuz jus' owta site. So she went to get da flashy lite fingy, an' BOY wuz he owta site!! First she fot he wuz under da puppy pool, but wen she pikked it up...no Vito. But it shur sownded wike dat iz ware he wuz bawkin' frum. She gets down an' shines da lite fingy under da porch. Dats ware she seez a bwak noze an' 2 peepers lukkin' owt at her. Vito. How he got under iz ennybuddy's gess. It iz only a liddle tiny flat openin'. Sigh. Mama iz breevin' hard an' werried (I cud tell). I fink she wuz gonna get a hatchitt an chop him owt. Howebber, insted she laid on da grownd haff in da mud, haff in da snow pile, shined dat lite rite in Vito's face an' cawled him to come close. She put da lite fingy on da snow pile an' reeched under da porch so Vito cud lik her fingers. Den she kwik grabbed hiz coller, an' slid him bak froo dat liddle hole. She wuz shakin' an' cud not ketch her breff, but she got him! He wuz reel happy an' came runnin' in da howse wif her an' me. He did not leev her side da rest ov da nite. Sorta gud dat Papa wuz not home cuz he mite hav reelly gotted da hatchitt. Mama figgered - he got in, he can get owt wif hewp. She sed it wuz like da time da 2 legger gotted hiz hed stuk in da railin'. Wun fing bowt my mama...she only fawls apart after it iz awl ober! Den she gotted a liddle hewp frum Jack but most ov awl frum da man upstares...yu no, in da sky? She kep sayin' Fank yu God ober an' ober agan.
Whelp,
Dats it for dis day

Arfur