Wazzup?

Mama bin cawlin' me her "dang fooey" dawg. Not shur whut dat meens, but wen ebber she put sumfin' ware it duz not belong, I "fix" it. Be cuz ov dis she be gibben me deez widdle sour piwws cawed crap berry piwws. Duz she not get da messidge??? If it duz not bewong dere, put it away or I wiww wadder it!! Da howse iz startin' to wook much neeter now dat I hab put my deco rater skills in ackshun.

Oh - an' dis werks on da bak yard, too. If I start to deco rate da dek, den da grass iz too deep an' she bedder get her hiney owt dere an' cut it fer us! Yu betcha. After awl, we only got widdle legs an' da grass tikkles owr nebberminds. Don't laff. Dis iz seeryuss stuffs. Wud yu wawk fru grass up to yer, umm, yer bottom? Huh?
Whelp, off to make her mow...

Arfur

I wuz a gud boy

We habbed reelly bad rain heer fer free dayz wif big boomers an' flashy lites in da sky. We fot we wuz gonna wash away. Wun nite wuz speshully bad. Mama sed its a tore NATO wash an' dat we habbed to go to da seller. Whelp, we nebber bin in da seller before, but I go ware ebber Mama goze. Vito wuz a difrent story. He putted on da brakes an' shook an' cried an' wud not go. SOOOOOO we gotted to sit in da pantry abov da seller steps an' wate fer da all cleer. It wuz grate, I gotted to eet cat fud an' cookies an' I gotted Vito's too cuz he wud not eet nuffin'! Wen it wuz ober, we wented to meet Daddy az he camed home an' Mama wooked at da rane ketcher an' it sed awlmos 2 inches! Dat wuz in 35 minnits an' da wedder man sed dere wuz ober 2000 nickzillion litenin' strikes (yu no - doze flashy fingys). We shur wuz lukky. An' now I no da wun fing dat Vito iz askeered ov :).

Bin nawty

Mama hab bin sik so Vito an' me bin takin' gud care ov her. Howebber, we wuz struk by tem tayshun da udder day an' we wuz bad. Mama brot us bak a hyoodj bag ov treets frum Mishygun. She kep' it hangin' in da pantry ware we cud not reech it. Papa habbed to fix sumfin' an' he putted dat bag on da dinin' room taybul. Mama wud not feed my my brekfist - kin yu gess Y? Yup, dere wuz bags n rappers awl ober da bak yard. hehehe...me be bad - Vito too!

Bad week

I am finely aybull to rite agan, but fer da hole last week plus I wuz feelin' purty punky. I woke up wun nite itchin' wike crazy. By da nex' mornin' I habbed no fur, wuz bleedin' an' oozin' awl ober my nek an' Mama wuz tote tully upset. Needless to say, she taked me to da vetman. I hate goin' to da vetman. I wike evrybuddy dere, I wike da treets, I reelly like da Doc, but he waffs at me cuz he sez I am a chikkin hidin' behind a wolf. Am not. Wudn't yu be werried if evry time yu went in dis widdle room yu gotted an' owchy shot?? An' he gibbed Mama nasty piwws to giv me, too. Da week went reelly slow an' wuz vewy not comfy, but I did lurn sumfin'. I figgered owt dat if I started to skritch at 3 in da mornin' dat Mama wud get up an' giv me cheez!

I reelly started feelin' bedder after Mama frew up her hans an' gibbed me a baff. Hate to admit it, but eben I fot I wuz stinky.

Whelp, I am bedder now, but still nekkid on my nek. I don't fink I wanna do dat to Mama agan, tho. She iz wike Jekkil an Hide wif no sleep.

And dats da troof.

Arfur

Da midnite adbenchurs ov da kitty hunters

Wast nite, I fink owr Pippicat habbed a scroo loose cuz at 3:12 am she laid on da bed nex' to Vito. Vito - dat grate kitty hunter. Suddenly dere iz a hyoodj WOOF, a bell ringin' (on da kitty), a big thump wen Vito hit da flore, an Vito led me down da stares woofin' awl da way in pursoot ov da Pippicat. Meenwile, Mama jumped up owt ov a deep sleep an' camed after us. Az Vito an' me hit da doggy dore, I frowed my paw ober hims big mowf to stop him from wakin' da naybors. Mama sed it wuz like sumbuddy hit a myoot buttin - wadebber dat iz. We looked an' looked awl ober da bak yard an' did not find da Pippicat. Wanna no Y? Cuz she wuz sittin' in da kitchin laffin' like crazy an' makin' razzberries at Vito an' me. We slunk up da stares an' went bak to bed. Stoopid cat.

She bedder not com in dat room agan!

Arfur

Furst Picky Nick wifout howndies

Finely woked up frum my zawsted nap after da yeerly Memo Reel Day Pickynick. We fot Mama wud be dwowned in peepulls, but ov da 50 dat wuz asked (abowt furty five ov witch we fot wud com)only elebben peepulls camed an 2 ov dem wuz not eben asked. No pwoblem - we habbed wots ov fud an' stuffs an' it turned owt to be a speshully nice party fer da hoomans. Howebber, no buddy, not wun peepull brot a doggy. Da rezult wuz dat Vito an' me gots awl da attenshun an' awl da treets - speshully sum baked by Antie Pam!! Yummy!

Dat mornin' der wuz a liddle story an' my mama, yes, MY MAMA wuz a heero! She wuz drivin' to get sum ice. She saw a big ol' slow muddy turdle in da rode, an' rite behind her wuz teen peepulls in a zoomy car comin' fast. She froo on her blinky lites, flung open da dore, ran owt in da rode an' shooed dat turdle to heist hiz hiney across dat rode faster!! Wen he wuz finely safe in da feeld an' hedded to da pond, she ran bak to her car, froo it in geer an' skee daddled owta da way ov doze teen peepulls. Whew! Jus' tellin' it wares me owt. But dat turdle wuz safe an' sownd on hims way home.

Whelp, gots mor to teww tomorrow, but fer now...nappy time!!

Arfur