Makin' Mama pay

Dis week Mama went owt two dayz in a row an' left us fer howrs an' hours awl alone.  Before she went she put lots ov washed pants an' shirts an stuffs on da line owtside.  Dat wuz da furst day.  Wen she gotted home, she wuz rushin' arownd doin' fings an' not payin' neerly enuff attenshun to us boyz.  Owt da dore she went wif da fold up baskit to bring in da wash.  She opinned it up an' put it down, hung up da bag ov allygaytor pins an' taked da furst fing offa da line.   A towel.  Pawfeckt.  I came owta da doggy dore, wawked strate over to da baskit, pikked up my leg an' let 'er rip!  My aim wuz gwate!!  Hit not only da baskit, but da towel inside it, too!  OOOOH  MAMA WUZ  MAD!!  But hey!  so wuz I fer gettin' lefted home.

Nex' day she goed agan.  Dis time it wuz later so she werked arownd da howse an' yard afore she leeved.  When she came back she feeded da gotes an den as she wuz scoopin' poopers in da back yard she sed, "Wate!  Whut iz diss???"  "Here, in da leefs near dis extra big pile ov.......AAARRRRFFFUUUURRRRR!!!  Whut did yu do???!!!"  In comes Mama wif a s'prize.  "Iz dis a pare ov Daddy's pants??!!" "It IS a pare of Daddy's pants!!! And da buttin iz on da grownd nex' to dem!"  Corse she sed it better 'n' dat, but yu get da ideeah.  "BAD DOG!!"  Yep.  Dat's me.  So gess whut she did durin' da Werld Seereez game dat nite?  Yep.  Sew on da buttin.  She wuz lucky...I did not chew it dis time...only taked it offa da pants.  Just wate till she leevs us nex' time!  I got a plan!
Well, Happy Halloween!  Gotta go scare da kiddies :)   Hmm....or maybe not so I cud get sum pets an' treets.

Halloween sprize

Today Mama wuz owt werking in da yard.  Evry now an' den she wud go in fer a drink an' stuff.  Wile she wuz drinkin' her tea, Vito an' me wer takin' turns puttin' sumfin in owr mowfs.  I wuz rollin' it arownd on my tung, tuckin it in my cheek, puttin' it on da flore, den givin' Vito a turn.  Mama kep sayin' "whut do yu hav?"  But we pwetended not to heer.  Whelp, we gotted tired of it an' left it by da dore.  She wuz rakin' agan an' pickin' up awl da nuts an' she saw owr liddle prize...ackshully, SPRIZE!  Gotta hand it to her she wuz pwetty cool abowt it...pikked it up wif da pooper scooper an' putted it in da poop bucket.  O, did I tell ya whut it wuz?  No?  Well, it wuz da hed ov a chickmunk.  We did not chew dat part up (I fink Vito eated da udder end), it wuz pawfeckt an' sorta pwetty in a groosum sorta way (to uze a peeple word cuz we didn't fink it wuz yucky like Mama did).  Now lets see, whut can we do next?

Wunderful time ov yeer

Dis iz da gratest time ov yeer fer collecktin' stuffs.  I hav awlreddy started my nut colleckshun, but I don't fink I can colleckt awl da nuts befor mama gets dem cleened up.  Vito habs a weerd colleckshun.  He haz a stash ov sticks...I kin unnerstand dat.  But he bin collecktin deez fuzzy widdle fellas cawled - uh...fuzzy bares? No...lets see - browny bares?  Nope.  Dats not it...whuts dat yu say, Hugo?  OH. Ok.  It s woolly b-e-a-r-s.!!  Dats it!  But az fast az he collecks dem, mama finds dem an' puts dem in da woods.  He also wikes stink buggies, but mama putted her foot down an' sed NO MORE!!  Cuz, ya no, wen ya pick up a stink buggy dey get scared an' STINK!  An' if ya leev dem alone, dey dont.  Dere iz lots of dem dis yeer an' Vito iz habbin' a gud time chasin' em cuz dey ar buzzy.  Now, I gotta see how menny leefs I can get befor mama makes me put dem back so she kin rake dem.  OH LOOK!  Da hard nuts ar startin' to fall now...not jus' doze acorn fingys.  Gotta go add dem to my pile.

Later -

My brudder is a man - sorta

Even tho Vito (the little brat) duz not act like a grone up doggy, he haz reeched a mill stone.  Whut?  Hmmm...Hugo sez it iz smile stone, er, mile stone.  Whutever....he haz got sum match chew ritty.  In udder werds he haz beginned to drool.  He never ever drooled befor now.  But he started drippin' last week an' now makes big puddles jus' like me - I meen ALMOST az big az me.  Now if he cud jus' stop bein' a brat.