Mama an' da scooper

Dis day Mama wuz cleenin' da bak yard wif da scooper. Da leefs ar on da grownd an' it waz takin' her a wong time. So...brite ideeya! Vito an' me went to hewp her. We ran ahed ov her an' gotted dem cleened up afor she gotted dere. But she wuz not happy. She wuz not prowd ov us. Awl she cud say wuz EEEWWWW!! Stop dat!! But we wuz a big suck sess! Da yard iz (wuz) cleen now.

Papa had scooped awl da kompost dirt owt ov da pile so we cud add leefs. Now we gots a HYUDJE mowntin to play on! We played King ov da Hill an' Mama twied to get a pitcher, but we ran down afor she cud do it.

Den she habbed to run to da stor cuz a mowse eeted owr bred (witch wiww not happin agan cuz it wiww be kep in a mowse proof pwase).  She ran in da dore awl egg sited cuz der wuz a loon on da wake. Dere iz loons evrypwase - jus wook at da tewwy vizhun...evrybuddy on dere iz loony - speshully on da nooz! But she wuz stiww awl happy an' selly braytin' findin' a loon eben if it wooks not like a loon at dis time ov yeer. Whoop pee. Dont I sownd egg sited?

Enny how it iz Hallow weenie an' jus' wike evry yeer we did not eben get wun twik or tweeter. Dey iz pwobly awl home tweetin' an' textin' an' stuffs. Of corse, Im not tewwin' if ennybuddy came wile Papa wuz at fizzycul fairappy down at Kesswer. Mebbe dis time dey wiww ackshully fix hiz weg. Time wiww teww, but I wont. hehehe. Mama an' Papa putted owt corn fer da deers, but not candy fer da kids. Dey wiww hav to com bak an nok if de want sum.

Mama's Hewpers

Vito an' me bin hewpin' Mama cleen up da yard. We brotted in stiks, an leefs, an gwass, an Vito eben fownd a wooly bare. Do not unnerstand wy it iz cawled a bare. It iz tiny an' habs no wegs an' no teefs wike da big bares. We putted awl da fings in da dinin' woom under da taybul. Well, sept fer wun stik I just hadda choo on.

It habs raned awl day an' we wuz reely reely gud. We went owt to potty an' maked no messes. Weww, mebbe a bunch o' footy pwints an' splatters frum shakin' off da wet...

Arfur da arteest

It wuz a gorjuss day an' we wuz awl owtside. Mama wuz doin' da poop scoopin' an' shakin' her hed. We wuz sniffin' an' pwayin' an' jus' hangin' awownd. But Mama kep shakin' her hed. Den she sez, "Arfur, how duz yu do diss?" "I kin not figure owt how yu do dis." Az I watched her pikkin' up da turds, I did not unnerstan.  "Arf, do you do this at a ded run? Der iz no udder exuplayshun.(not shur dat iz her werd)."  It iz a miss terry to me whut she iz tawkin' abowt. Der iz wun turd evry free feets in a strate line. Dis iz a pwoblem? Big deel. So Vito puts hiz awl in wun pile. I wike bein', uh, cree ate...drat! I wike makin' turd art!

At leest we gotted stake agan. So it duz not madder whut she sed. She wuvs me ennyway. I gotta go clime da big hiww afor she puts da leefs on dat pile. Ooops! Its got ice dis mornin'! Wheeeeee!

Laayyyterrrrrr!! (swoosh)

Arfur

Sekund puppyhood

Dis mornin' afore Mama an' Papa gotted owt ov bed, I sneeked down da steps to go owt an' potty. Awl ov a sudden, I gotted dis feelin'...I jus' HAD to get into da twash can. It did not hab much innit, but I habbed so much fun wippin' up awl da papers an' tissuez dat wer dere. Da big sprize came wen Mama saw it. She gotted dis stwanje luk on her fase an' pikked it awl up sayin', "Mama's siwwy widdle boyz". I had ta shake my hed ober dat wun. She wuz smiwin' an' evwyfing. An' fer supper, she gibbed us a WOT ov stake!! Yummy! Da only pwoblem wuz she cukked chikky an' dat iz my vewy fayverit. So I sat an' begged my vewy best at da table, but no buddy wud luk at me. Den wen dey wuz dun, dey gaved us tater skins!! How gwate iz dat! An' heer I wuz a bad boy an' dey stiww luv me. Wow. Gotta go ni nite. We iz awl sweepy. Hab a gud nite evrywun.  

Arfur

Fergivniss

Whelp, da weekend dayz Vito 'n' me wuz mad at da Mama an' Papa. Dey leeved us too much. Howebber, yes turd day dey camed home wif a blak box. An' it smewwed YUMMMM!!! We hab not eeted it yet, but I kin teww yu it habs a stake in it, pwobly abowt 9 ownses, medeeum rare. HAHAHA an' Mama did not eben open it! My noze iz da BEST!!  We deffin itly fergiv dem. Speshully after we put it in owr tummies.

Az fer dis day, Mama bin dwaggin' her butt awl day, but she washeded pants an' stuff an' den she wented owt to bwow leefs. Howebber, she iz not too happy wif us. We awlway pwayed da game of weef peepin'. It wuz fun an' she laffed at us. Weww, dis time we pwayed weef poopin'.  She did not waff. She did not tawk. I fink she mite be a widdle upset wif us. Mebbe we bedder go bak to weef peepin' so she not be up set. Ennyhow da sun iz owt an' da day iz nice so off we go to get da pesky skwirrels!
Tiw nex time

Arfur

Keepin' up da trainin'

 Hi, fokes, Arf here.  Yu mite not beleev it, but I am gettin' older. I fink I mite hav to put a noo foto heer cuz da hares iz gettin' pale. Of corse as I get older, I lern noo triks and better wayz to trane da peepulls, my mama an' papa. For menny yeers, at bedtime I wud not wet da papa tuch me or com neer me wifout snarkin' at him. It habs bin a game dat we pway evry nite. But now, I wets him pet me an' skritch me cuz now I wants awl da pets I kin get.

 Dis mornin' I went owt in da rane wile dey wuz sleepin' an' den came in an' waked dem up wif my cold wet eerz. But I wuz gud...did not wawk on da bed cuz I wuz wet - unwike my bwatty brudder hu gots into Mama's side ov da bed at 4 am dwippin' wet an' COLD. He dived under da cuvvers an waked her up. I fink she be re-finkin' leevin' da doggy dore opin at nite.
Til da nex' time
Arfur

Arfur da Boss

AAARRROOOO!!! Arfur heer sayin' hi to ol' frenz.  Finely got da sekretarry reddy to go. Swapped her inta shape, I kin teww yu. Ennyway, dis dayz story...

Furst ov awl, I bin hewpin' Papa paynt da howse. Yu no how sum bassets hab a lace eer? Weww, I gots a TEAL eer. Not awl teal, jus' a pwetty patturn on da bottom. Jus' to proov to Mama dat I bin hewpin' an' not in da way.

Awso, Mama pwomisses evry day to take us to da park. An' sumfin' awlways keeps her frum takin' us. So today, she finely taked us to da pawk. Gotted dere, taked Vito owt ov da car, den goze to get me an' I wiww NOT get owt ov dat car. She tride cukkies, she went in da bak an' gotted da steps she habs fer dwivin' stwange bassets an' I taked wun luk at dem an' wud not budj. I awlso wud not let her pick me up an' get me owt. She finely lef' me dere an' taked Vito fer a VEWY short wawk cuz I started to cry, bawk, an' sing da song ov my peepulls. Udder peepulls wuz lukkin' an' shakin' dere heds at da crool mama hu leff her baby awone.  Vito gotted turned rownd an' putted bak in da car. He wawked abowt mebby less dan owr driveway at home. hehehe...No Wun takes Arfur fer a wawk wen it iz time fer my dinner! Yup. Eggzackly. Did I get owt ov da car at home? Yu betcha I did an' ran rite in da howse an stud by my dish an' wayted fer da fuds. Arfur iz da boss an yu bedder beleev it!
Tiww nex' time...

Arfur