My furst day ov Cwissmuss

Mama iz sik an' she haz bin lissenin' to Cwissmuss songs. I jus' luv da Furst Day of Cwissmuss. So, I bwot her a pwezent fer da furst day I am cowntin. I not shur she wiked it. She laffs wen she watchez us pway turd hokky. So I bwotted in a puck fer her an' putted it in fwont ov da wood fire fingy. She jus' went to put a wog on da fire an' fownd it. At furst, she fot it wuz a wok. Den she went to pik it up an'...ooops! It wuz mewted. Dont teww her ware I am, ok? Its nise an' warm heew behind da chare. Mebbee she wiww fink it iz frum Vito.

Later,
Arfur

Da big Sprize!

Owr toy box iz in da room ware da wood stove iz. Vito iz da wun hu gets eberyfing owt. Da udder day, he coms runnin' up to me an' woof woof woofin' an' dansin' in sirkles an' eberyfing. Arfur Arfur Arfur, he sez (reelly he sed Arf Arf Arf)!! Com an' wook at da toy box!! Santa gotted us aww noo toys! I shaked my hed at dis boy cuz he iz a widdle fick sumtimes, but I fowwowed him. An' gess whut? Awl da toys were noo! But wate...izn't dat my Crissmuss pengwin? An' wook - owr Santa teddy bare! Deez awl wook wike da same toys, but day ar aww noo! It iz majik!! Dere iz not eben enny room fer mor toyz cuz it iz fuww! Whut lukky boyz we ar dat Santa gotted heer erly! Wook! Eben awl da chewy bonz iz noo! Hmmm.,.now whut am I gonna do on Cwissmuss? I gots eberyfing I need. Mebbe I shud gib sum toys to a houndy hu gots nun? I fink dat iz whut Crissmuss iz awl abowt. Dont yu?

Keep da pees in yer hart an' dont stwess. Wemember wy we iz heer. Fer eech udder. Gotta go keep Mama warm. She coffed awl nite las' nite. An' I gotta get on her wap furst or da bwat wiww be hoggin' her awl to hisself.

Arfur

(Note from Mama: None of the toys are new. I threw the whole mess in the washing machine and they really do look new and the squeakers still squeak and everything. DO NOT TELL ARFUR.)

Impawtant job

Whelp, at nite wen I wuz twyin' to sweep, I kep heerin' a stwanje noyze. It kep' wakin' me up - okay, it waked me up wunce. Den it waked Mama. It wuz her makin' a weezy noyze. Luks wike I hav a impawtant job dis week...nurss. Da gwanpuppy iz comin' wif da hooman brudder an hiz gurlfwend. Mama iz goin' cwazy cuz now she iz sik an' cannot do whut she wanted to get weddy fer dem. She iz wippen her hares owt. At weest she gotted da tiny twee up (on Vito's cwate) an' da owtdore lites. I gotta go keep her warm...she needs sum west. (She sez she needs a beech, den she sed she needs a made, but dat iz not gonna happin enny time soon.) Teww yu bowt da sprize nex' time.

Arfur

Baby its code owtside

Diss mornin' it wuz so code dat da dwool wuz fweezin' on my wips! So wile Mama wuz makin' Papa's wunch fer werk, I fownd a solooshun. A cupple extwa calleries to keep me tostie. Corse, Mama did not see cuz she wuz bizzy, but much to my dizmay, Papa wuz on da bawl. He taked my booty an' went to sho Mama. She habbed got owt da creem cheez to gib me my piww and put it on da taybul. She did not see it wuz gon. Oops. Now der iz no creem cheez to take my piww. Gud fing Papa gotted it frum me befor it wuz AWL gon. Der wuz jus' enuff to swawwow my piww. Sigh.

Now I need a nap. I fink Mama duz too, cuz Vito wuz up a bunch ov times wast nite. An' evry time he comes bak in frum goin' owt, he wines by da bed fer Mama to moov so he can get innit. Oh, an' he tewws her to wift up da cuvvers, too, so he kin get under! So now she iz hackin' an' weezin' wif a code - probly cuz she did not get enuff sweep cuzza da widdul bwat!

Wemind me to teww yu da big sprize we gotted...

Layder!

Arfur

Bwave Arfur

Wast day, Mama putted me in da car an' stawted to get in but stopped. Pitiful roooing fiwwed da air an' it wuz comin' from da bak yawd. Back into da howse she wan, gwabbed Vito's leesh (wif him on it) ran bak to da car and loaded us up.  We habbed a nise tosty ride, watchin' da seenery and den we stopped. Mama opinned da dore an' WAYDAMINNIT!!! Dis iz da vetlady! I iz NOT gettin' owt. Nope. Whelp, she puwwed, an' tugged, an' pleeded an' den awl ov a sudden - YANK!! An' der I wuz, standin' in da parkin' wot. Not gettin' me in da dore, not gettin' me in dere. Dwat! Weww, I am NOT goin' in dat widdwe room. Dey cawwed my name an' I wuz a gud boy an' gotted on da steppy fing. Don't no wy but she awways sez a number wen I get off an' she sed 52...same as wast time. So az we wayted dere, I wuz lukkin' forwerd to peenut budder wike wast time. But wate! It izn't da vetlady! Its a stwange man. He zoomed in da dore, petted me an' tawked to Mama. Nex' fing I am rizin' up on a taybull dat goze up wike befor, but no peenut budder. Da man chekked my eerz, my teefs, my wumpies, an wile he wuz tawkin' I did not eben reelize he cutted my toe bonz! Den he sed he wuz gonna giv me a shot, take bwud, an' suk sum stuffs owta da wun wumpie. Never eben fewt da shot (wen did DAT happen?) I stud wike a man wen he taked da needull in my weg an' gotted bwud. An I wuz da bestest boy I ebber wuz wile I stud for him to stab my weg an' suk da stuffs owt. Did not eben fwinch. Awl da time da man wuz pettin' me, feewin' me, tawkin' to me an' to Mama an' I reelly did not mind it at awl! Eben I wuz spwized. Mama wuz fwoored! Corse I almose had to ketch her wen dey gibbed her da biww. After awl, I AM a senyior hownd. I gotted 2 piwws an' a skwipshun, bwud werk, wumps tested, an Mama gots a cup an' a ketcher fing to get me to pee (wich I wiww not do) cuz I wud not pee fer da tek pawson. She haz her werk cut owt fer her, cuz I iz not wettin' ennybuddy ketch my pee, not eben my Mama.
Ennyhow, I am a helfy howndy. I gots a P.S.!!! Da doc jus' cawwed an' eberyfing wuz gud!! Yippee!

Tiww nex' time...

Arfur

Sumtimes I wunder

Wots ov fings hav me finkin' lately. Wun iz my mama killin' meese. We hav whut yu mite cawl an invayshun. In udder werds, we iz gots wots ov meese. At furst, day wuz eezy to get in da twaps. Howebber, awl ov a sudden da cridders iz emptyin da twaps an chewwin da lids offa da peenut budder. Dis makes Mama cwazy. She hates da liddul poopers (dey leevs poops evwyplayse). She cant poyzun dem cuz da Pippicat eets dem. but she cant eet enuff to get wid ov awl ov dem. Now dat dey hav figgered owt da twaps, Mama iz finkin' mebbe der iz a gun widdle enuff to shoot da liddle buggers. Dat iz a big ol' NO. Nex fing yu no she wiww be dwoppin' ankers on dem. Eeeew.

Da nex fing I bin finkin' abowt iz -I fink my mama iz weerd. She takes us fer weelly nise wawks at diffwent pawks. Wun by a wivver, an nudder wun acwoss a wake, an eben diffwent wun nex' to a wake. I jus' cant figger owt wun fing. Wy duz she bwing home owr poopies? Az soon as we stop, she iz wippin' owt da bag, den she piks up da hole fing eben wif da leefs under it. Duz she luv us dat much dat she keeps dem? Iz dat wy she puts dem in a can in da bak yard too? She iz owt der evwy day scoopin' up da poopers. I fink dat iz stwaynje. Duz udder mamas do dat too?

Gotta west my bwane fer now. I gots mow fings to figger owt nex time.
Tiww den -

Aaaroooo!
Arfur

Weerd week

We habbed a vewy stwanje week. Furst ov awl, Papa tode us at da wast minnit dat he wuz off frum werk. An' da sun shined, an' da leefs feww, an' it wuz warm. He an' Mama bloo leefs wike cwazy an' Papa werked in da barn, but da leefs kep' fawwin' an' Papa kwit werkin' on da twakters in da barn an' dey kwit da leefs too. Dey went to da seeshor an' weft us home. NOT  a happy fing fer me. Den, dey gotted sumbuddy to finish da noo howse culler at LAST. Not finisheded, but close. We habbed a weelly nice warm an' sunny day an' pwayed owtdores a wot. Den, we waked up an' it wuz CODE! An' wen we went owt to go potty, da rane wuz hurtin' us. Not rane! Ice wuz fawwin'! Den sno came an' we gotted to pway in it - weww, I pwayed in it. Vito - he wud do a kwik pee an' dash fer da dore. Whut happinned to havin' fun in da sno? Vito not want to enny mor. Wun day wen Mama wuz kukkin', I fownd a widdwe tiny sharp fingy on da flore. Every time I twied to chew it, it hurted an' I shaked it owt ov my flooz. Mama seed me an' I gave it to her (sorta). She wuz reel happy I gived it to her fer sum reezon.

Weww, da leefs ar stiww under da snow, da traktor gots a pwow on it, da howse iz awlmose paynted, Mama gotted to see da oshun, da sun an' da warmf gode away, an' da wud stove iz keepin' us warm. Pwetty soon it gonna be turky day wif no turky fer Vito 'n' me. But Mama sez der wiww be a sprize. Hope its a gud wun!

Mor nex' time!

Arfur

Bizzy Bizzy Bizzy iz not gwate fer hownds

Watewy, Mama an' Papa be buzzy awl da time - whut Vito? Oh, yeah, it's "bizzy". Between payntin' da howse, pikkin' up leefs an' awl dere udder stuffs, we iz gettin' shirt chaynjed. We wud wike to go to da pawk evwy day! An' to ice cweem evwy day! An' to Bugger King fer chikky nuggets evwy day!! We iz tired ov leef peepin' an' poopin', naps on da sofa, layin' in frunt ov da wud stove an' borin' stuffs wike dat! Jus' today, Mama an' Papa gotted two comalongs to Kwissmuss pawties. An' Fanksgibbin' meens we be home awone agan. [big powt]  Meenwiwe, Vito n' me iz watchin' Mama emty da dwyin' masheen, fode da cloze, kuk da suppew, vacyuum da - wate a minnit - we do not watch her do dat...we go owt da doggy dore cuz we HATE da sukky masheen. We gots her reel con fyoozed. Cuz we luv da leef bwower. Mama kinnot figger owt wy we not hate bofe ov dem. Its a howndie fing. BWAHAHAHA!!!

Later,

Arfur

Arfur's Fanks

Da sun iz shinin' owt an' we iz goin' to hav a fun day. Wen I sit an' fink a widdwe, dis wist camed to my hed.
1. I am gwad I am not a peepull wif da werries dat go wif dat; dat I am a howndie wif a mama an' papa hu luv me.

2. I get fuds wen I am hungry an' sometimes jus' fer a tweet.

3. I hav a hole bunch ov warm beddies an' blankies an' sofas to sweep on. An' I kin sweep wenebber I want.

4. I wiv in a howse an nebber hav to be cold or wet or awone.

5. I hav wots ov toys, wots ov fwends an' a big yard to pway in.

6. I have a brudder. Sumtimes dat is gud.

7. Da onwy fings I need mor dan deze fings, iz hugs an' pets an' snuggwes frum my mama an' papa an' dere fwendz.

 I wuv my mama an' papa. An' I shur hope dat wen Mama bwows leefs today she duz not find da unders I taked from her woom wast nite. Dey iz hided in da leefs. Mebbe wen she bwows dem, dey wiww stay hided. Pweez?

Later,

Arfur

Wodent Pwaygwownd

We bin heerin' dis big noyz owt side. It iz wike sum buddy iz wunnin' acwoss da frunt ov da howse. Mama keeps wookin' owt, but nebber seez nuffin. Vito an' me don't eben get up frum owr nappies. We NO dat it iz nuffin' skewwy. But Mama - she iz goin' nutty. Evwy time da noiz happins, she goze runnin' to wook owt da dore twyin' to find owt whut it iz. Nuffin'. Dats whut we keep tewwin' her.

Ok, heew coms da noiz. FUMP!! fump fump fump BANG! Funka funka funka WHAM! Den nuffin'. Der she goze...wunnin' to da dore, wookin' owt - haHA!! Suk sess!! She seez whut iz doin' it an' az soon az she gets dwessed, she iz gonna fix it.  Stoopid wodents!! An udder hard werd to say - skwewwewls. Not chikky munks. Da gway fings wif da fwuffy tales. Wen Papa wuz payntin' da howse, he taked off da gudders. Wun ov dem iz sittin' in Mama's rok gahdin an' iz up aganst da howse. Da fuzzy wodents ar runnin' along it, makin' it bump aganst da howse, den dey jump to da porch (da big sownd), den dey go bak an' duz it da udder way. So awl day long it iz FUMP!! fump fump fump BANG! Funka funka funka WHAM!! I fink da nex' "wham" we heer iz gonna be da end ov da wodent. Or at weest da wodent pwaygwownd. Skeeyooz me, gunna go bak to sweep. [ big yawn].

Nex' tyme,

Arfur

Bizzy Dayz

AARRROOOOO!!! Arfur hewe, bin reelly reelly bizzy. We garded da howse wen Mama an' Papa taked da too legger up to see Gwamma. We did such a gud job dat dey bwotted us chikky an' sammin fishy. Az soon az dey wawked in da dore I cud smeww dat yummy box! [big deep sniff] Aaaaaah - da hebenwy awoma! An' it tasted so gud too!!

 An' we wet Mama no wen sumbuddy wuz owtside hu did not bewong hewe. She wooked owt an' did not see enny wun but we kep' growlin' an' woofin' until she seed da twuk leev da dwiveway takin' da big twayler! But it came bak wayter. We don't weelly woof at peepull goin' by enny mor unless day gots a pwaymate for us. But dey nebber stop so we gave up.

Den Mama bwoke down an' cutted owr toe bones. OWWY! [weww, not weelly - but we want her to fink dat]. She gotted Vito's dat wuz so long day wooked wike doze big spydews dat wiv in da dezert. Don't ask me to say da name. Tardy chillas or sumfin wike dat. Den Papa gwabbed me an' Mama did my eerz. Whew! I wuz so reeleeved. But den she sprized me an gwabbed da front puddies an' cutted doze nales. So now I onwy cwik in da bak. At leest we gotted kukkies fer bein' gud.

Now da best wun. Mama sed I yam a gwate teecher. It only taked 9 yeers, but Vito now duz my twik. Wen Mama sez "weev it!" He weevs it. If she sez "no" he sumtimes wissens. But he duz "weev it" at wast. She tewws him not to opin da gate but he duz most ov da time. But wen he goze to steel da kitty fud if she sez "weev it" he stops an' comes to her.  Eever he iz vewy stoopid, or vewy bwite. Me? I hog down az much az I kin befor she gets dere, DEN I stop. I weev a liddle bit so she finks I wissened wike a gud boy. hehehe.

Weef hoppin' day dis day!! Hav a gud wun! Don't turn on da tewy vizhion or yu wiww go kwayzy - dont say I did not warn yu!

Arfur

Nu pwaymate! An' how to be payshunt.

Mama bin bwowin' leefs evry day. Wast time az she opinned da dore, she fownd owr fwend watin' fer us to com owt an' pway. He wuz sittin' on da chare rite owtside da dore awl sof' n' fuzzy an' gray. She jumped abowt a fut cuz he did not wun away. Corse not!! He wuz watin' fer Vito n' me! Hiz name iz Sammy an' he iz a skwurwel. Turns owt hiz grampa wuz da memesis ov Bwossom menny yeerz ago. He tol' us da story ov her sittin' unner hiz twee awl day wifowt mooovin' watin' fer hiz gwamps to com down. Jus' wike me. Wast nite.

Papa habbed a doktor vizit, den da ferapy vizit, den day eeted owt an did not bwing us a box! But Papa wuz da hewo - he camed home 'n opinned hiz wunch box an gess whut!! He did not eet hiz chikky sammich! So gess hu gotted to eet it!! Yup!! Vito n' me!! Den Papa went to watch dat pikchur box an' Mama wuz reedin' a buk. Me? I wuz shur dere wuz a big cwum on da kitchin flore. I sat owtside da gate. I cud snuffwe (Mama sez snuffle) sumfin' on da flore owt dere, so I cwide. An' I cwide. An' I cwide. An...I CWIDE!! Mama cud not take no mor. She gotted up, pikked up da kitty fud, den let me go inna kitchin. Nuffin. Der wuz NUFFIN!! My noze duz not fale!! Wy wuz der NUFFIN?? Dat Pippicat musta eeted da crum. Dat stoopid kat. If she didn't hab rayzer footies, I'd show her! Nex' fing, Papa stiww watchin' hiz show, Mama reedin' her buk, an' me? I wuz siwentwy nappin' in my dog bed. Papa cud not beleev it. Hey, I no wen to kwit. Not so dum to push my wuck.
Tiww nex' time,

Arfur

Mama's a battwefeeld

Mama gode to da peepull doc an's she seemed fine wast nite, sept she wuz reelly reelly tired an' went to bed erly in da middwe ov wun ov her fayvorit moovies. It wuz cawled Sumner Went All. Dis mornin' it wuz vewy cleer she wuz not feewin' gwate. She wuz swower dan normull furst ov awl. Den she did not do her reglar stuffs. I fownd owt da doktor shooted her!!! (Weww, it wuz da nerse, but da doc tole her to). An' she shooted her too times!! Bofe arms ar hurtin' her an' she sed she feews wike a war iz goin' on inside. Dat mite be da hyoodje piww she habs to take awso. She twide washin' cwoze, gotted sweepy. Twide bwowin' leefs, onwy gotted haff way down da gwass.  Washeded dishez, but da masheen duz dat. Now its dinner an' I hope Papa iz cawshus. I'm not shur she noze whut she iz puttin' init. Den dey goze to PT fer Papa - good wuck! Hope dey have a cot fer her to sweep on!. Ennyway,
Layter,

Arfur

Mama mangulls meeses

Mama bin pwetty cwazy abowt findin' mowse poopies on her dwyin' masheen. Skwub, skwub, spwayin' wif Wysow, den off to da store. Home she camed wif a yewwow bag an' she dasheded into da wawndwy room. Nex' fing we no, she iz bak foldin' cloze an' washin' an' dwyin'. Big misterry. Nex' mornin' - GESS WATT!! Der wuz a twap wif a widdwe mowse body in it. Eezy twap, Mama piks up, holds ober twash, pinchiz wike a cwoze pin...AWL GONE!! Az soon az da mowse iz owt ov it, da twap iz set to ketch da nex' wun. We ar now on mowse numbew fwee wif no end in site. An' Mama iz much mow happy dat dey iz gon.

A widdle note abowt da climin' we did on da compost piwe. I wuz achy awl nite long an' kep Mama awake. She wuz owt ov doggy piwws, awso.  She gode to da peepull doc today wif saggy peeperz. But she stiww wuvs me. <3 a="" boy.="" i="" iz="" lukky="" p="">Latew,

Arfur

Mama an' da scooper

Dis day Mama wuz cleenin' da bak yard wif da scooper. Da leefs ar on da grownd an' it waz takin' her a wong time. So...brite ideeya! Vito an' me went to hewp her. We ran ahed ov her an' gotted dem cleened up afor she gotted dere. But she wuz not happy. She wuz not prowd ov us. Awl she cud say wuz EEEWWWW!! Stop dat!! But we wuz a big suck sess! Da yard iz (wuz) cleen now.

Papa had scooped awl da kompost dirt owt ov da pile so we cud add leefs. Now we gots a HYUDJE mowntin to play on! We played King ov da Hill an' Mama twied to get a pitcher, but we ran down afor she cud do it.

Den she habbed to run to da stor cuz a mowse eeted owr bred (witch wiww not happin agan cuz it wiww be kep in a mowse proof pwase).  She ran in da dore awl egg sited cuz der wuz a loon on da wake. Dere iz loons evrypwase - jus wook at da tewwy vizhun...evrybuddy on dere iz loony - speshully on da nooz! But she wuz stiww awl happy an' selly braytin' findin' a loon eben if it wooks not like a loon at dis time ov yeer. Whoop pee. Dont I sownd egg sited?

Enny how it iz Hallow weenie an' jus' wike evry yeer we did not eben get wun twik or tweeter. Dey iz pwobly awl home tweetin' an' textin' an' stuffs. Of corse, Im not tewwin' if ennybuddy came wile Papa wuz at fizzycul fairappy down at Kesswer. Mebbe dis time dey wiww ackshully fix hiz weg. Time wiww teww, but I wont. hehehe. Mama an' Papa putted owt corn fer da deers, but not candy fer da kids. Dey wiww hav to com bak an nok if de want sum.

Mama's Hewpers

Vito an' me bin hewpin' Mama cleen up da yard. We brotted in stiks, an leefs, an gwass, an Vito eben fownd a wooly bare. Do not unnerstand wy it iz cawled a bare. It iz tiny an' habs no wegs an' no teefs wike da big bares. We putted awl da fings in da dinin' woom under da taybul. Well, sept fer wun stik I just hadda choo on.

It habs raned awl day an' we wuz reely reely gud. We went owt to potty an' maked no messes. Weww, mebbe a bunch o' footy pwints an' splatters frum shakin' off da wet...

Arfur da arteest

It wuz a gorjuss day an' we wuz awl owtside. Mama wuz doin' da poop scoopin' an' shakin' her hed. We wuz sniffin' an' pwayin' an' jus' hangin' awownd. But Mama kep shakin' her hed. Den she sez, "Arfur, how duz yu do diss?" "I kin not figure owt how yu do dis." Az I watched her pikkin' up da turds, I did not unnerstan.  "Arf, do you do this at a ded run? Der iz no udder exuplayshun.(not shur dat iz her werd)."  It iz a miss terry to me whut she iz tawkin' abowt. Der iz wun turd evry free feets in a strate line. Dis iz a pwoblem? Big deel. So Vito puts hiz awl in wun pile. I wike bein', uh, cree ate...drat! I wike makin' turd art!

At leest we gotted stake agan. So it duz not madder whut she sed. She wuvs me ennyway. I gotta go clime da big hiww afor she puts da leefs on dat pile. Ooops! Its got ice dis mornin'! Wheeeeee!

Laayyyterrrrrr!! (swoosh)

Arfur

Sekund puppyhood

Dis mornin' afore Mama an' Papa gotted owt ov bed, I sneeked down da steps to go owt an' potty. Awl ov a sudden, I gotted dis feelin'...I jus' HAD to get into da twash can. It did not hab much innit, but I habbed so much fun wippin' up awl da papers an' tissuez dat wer dere. Da big sprize came wen Mama saw it. She gotted dis stwanje luk on her fase an' pikked it awl up sayin', "Mama's siwwy widdle boyz". I had ta shake my hed ober dat wun. She wuz smiwin' an' evwyfing. An' fer supper, she gibbed us a WOT ov stake!! Yummy! Da only pwoblem wuz she cukked chikky an' dat iz my vewy fayverit. So I sat an' begged my vewy best at da table, but no buddy wud luk at me. Den wen dey wuz dun, dey gaved us tater skins!! How gwate iz dat! An' heer I wuz a bad boy an' dey stiww luv me. Wow. Gotta go ni nite. We iz awl sweepy. Hab a gud nite evrywun.  

Arfur

Fergivniss

Whelp, da weekend dayz Vito 'n' me wuz mad at da Mama an' Papa. Dey leeved us too much. Howebber, yes turd day dey camed home wif a blak box. An' it smewwed YUMMMM!!! We hab not eeted it yet, but I kin teww yu it habs a stake in it, pwobly abowt 9 ownses, medeeum rare. HAHAHA an' Mama did not eben open it! My noze iz da BEST!!  We deffin itly fergiv dem. Speshully after we put it in owr tummies.

Az fer dis day, Mama bin dwaggin' her butt awl day, but she washeded pants an' stuff an' den she wented owt to bwow leefs. Howebber, she iz not too happy wif us. We awlway pwayed da game of weef peepin'. It wuz fun an' she laffed at us. Weww, dis time we pwayed weef poopin'.  She did not waff. She did not tawk. I fink she mite be a widdle upset wif us. Mebbe we bedder go bak to weef peepin' so she not be up set. Ennyhow da sun iz owt an' da day iz nice so off we go to get da pesky skwirrels!
Tiw nex time

Arfur

Keepin' up da trainin'

 Hi, fokes, Arf here.  Yu mite not beleev it, but I am gettin' older. I fink I mite hav to put a noo foto heer cuz da hares iz gettin' pale. Of corse as I get older, I lern noo triks and better wayz to trane da peepulls, my mama an' papa. For menny yeers, at bedtime I wud not wet da papa tuch me or com neer me wifout snarkin' at him. It habs bin a game dat we pway evry nite. But now, I wets him pet me an' skritch me cuz now I wants awl da pets I kin get.

 Dis mornin' I went owt in da rane wile dey wuz sleepin' an' den came in an' waked dem up wif my cold wet eerz. But I wuz gud...did not wawk on da bed cuz I wuz wet - unwike my bwatty brudder hu gots into Mama's side ov da bed at 4 am dwippin' wet an' COLD. He dived under da cuvvers an waked her up. I fink she be re-finkin' leevin' da doggy dore opin at nite.
Til da nex' time
Arfur

Arfur da Boss

AAARRROOOO!!! Arfur heer sayin' hi to ol' frenz.  Finely got da sekretarry reddy to go. Swapped her inta shape, I kin teww yu. Ennyway, dis dayz story...

Furst ov awl, I bin hewpin' Papa paynt da howse. Yu no how sum bassets hab a lace eer? Weww, I gots a TEAL eer. Not awl teal, jus' a pwetty patturn on da bottom. Jus' to proov to Mama dat I bin hewpin' an' not in da way.

Awso, Mama pwomisses evry day to take us to da park. An' sumfin' awlways keeps her frum takin' us. So today, she finely taked us to da pawk. Gotted dere, taked Vito owt ov da car, den goze to get me an' I wiww NOT get owt ov dat car. She tride cukkies, she went in da bak an' gotted da steps she habs fer dwivin' stwange bassets an' I taked wun luk at dem an' wud not budj. I awlso wud not let her pick me up an' get me owt. She finely lef' me dere an' taked Vito fer a VEWY short wawk cuz I started to cry, bawk, an' sing da song ov my peepulls. Udder peepulls wuz lukkin' an' shakin' dere heds at da crool mama hu leff her baby awone.  Vito gotted turned rownd an' putted bak in da car. He wawked abowt mebby less dan owr driveway at home. hehehe...No Wun takes Arfur fer a wawk wen it iz time fer my dinner! Yup. Eggzackly. Did I get owt ov da car at home? Yu betcha I did an' ran rite in da howse an stud by my dish an' wayted fer da fuds. Arfur iz da boss an yu bedder beleev it!
Tiww nex' time...

Arfur