Whut iz it wif gurls?

Whut iz it about girls? Used to be awl I ebber wanted to do with them wuz play da humpety game. Now I cud not care less about dat. I just want awl da pets I can get. I want dem to leeve me alone. But she (Cleo) is warin me down. First she leeves da cat food for me every day. Den she tries to lay against me awl da time. She wets me hab da best seat an wets me snuggle wif my dad. She gibs me da best seet in da car. She eben shares foodies wif me. Whut iz a fella to do? I iz so confyuzed. 

Spin da bee

Bin tryin' to tell Mama bowt how beez ar not to pway wif. 2 times I hav had a mistery fat flew (wlip) ware da vetlady habbed to giv me a shot an' piwws. I colleck buggies an' did not noe dat deez wuz sharp! (Sorta wike da Pippicat.) I taked Mama a pwetty moff, a woolly bear, widdle buggies wif armor on - Mama caws dem stinky bugs, an sum udder wuns, but da 2 times I twied to pick up deez pwetty yello buzzies, I gots owched. Dis day she wuz mowin' an' da beez iz owt cuz its bin rainin' an' rainin' an' rainin'! I seed da bloo monster suck up da widdle bee an' spin him into da bewwy ov dat beest, den spit it owt a zillyun milez an howr. Mama wuz lukky!! She did not get owched wike me. Weww, she did not put it in her mowf, eever. Nex' time I wiww teww yu abowt my noo sister. Heer she coms to leen aganst me.....gotta go! Bye!