Arfur in da kom bat zone

I not shur whut iz goin' on but doze tweez iz frowin' fings at Vito 'n' me! Evwy time I go owt to do my bizness, I gets hitted by hard widdwe bawws!! Vito duz not want to go owt dere. Mama wuz mad cuz he peed inna howse, but I am shur he gotted hit in da hed an' gave up goin' owt dat dore! Awso, da gwass iz fuww ov deze widdwe fings. Vito finks dey ar to pway wif. I say NO! It iz ammo fer da treez! Dey hurts! How ebber, we hav fownd a way to uze dem. We put dem on da flore in side an' we made Mama twip free times! We shur gets her attenshun! BWAHAHAHA!! We iz lukky da bwellas to da piknik tabels is stiww up cuz we kan wawk awl ober da patty o wifowt gettin' hit.  Meenwile its rainin' bawws...ware iz my hard hat?? Or a bwewwa.  Pwitty soon we wiww need boots to pwotekt owr feets too! How ar we spozed to chase doze dum chickmunkies if da pwase iz cuvvered wif bawws?
OWCH!! Dat wuz a BIGGER wun - and harder!! Grrrrrr....wate till I find Papa's buzzy twee cutter! Dey wiww be sowwy!! An we wiww hav mor wud fer da stove to keep us tostie! If onwy I had fums.

Mama iz MAD

It bin a wile dat I rote ennyfing. Bin sorta borin' fer doggies wif da heet an' awl. It stoppid raynin' so Mama started da gwill! YUM! Wile she wuz gettin' fings reddy, I hadda potty, so I went an' wen I fot she wuz not seein' me, I turnid awownd to tayst sum. Drat! She wuz lookin' an' ran to get dat skooper. She pikked dat up, den went bak to gwillin'. Me? I went a widdle away frum dere an' went agan. She seed me an' pwaktickally cawt it. Dat womin! So, she dis pozed ov da poops an' a cuppla mushywooms, den wawked bak to da gwill. Her job wuz dun..............NOT!!!! BWAHAHAHA!! She steppid up to da gwill an' sed, "Whut iz DAT??!!" Den she lookid down an' seed I weft an nudder BIG wun rite in frunt ov da gwill on da patty o. An' it habbed her footy pwint in it. Her BIG footy pwint. Weww, I dont no fer shur if I kin teww yu whut she cawwed me, but da naybers herd it, so I'll tell ya. She cawwed me a Poopyhed! Yu bad ol' poopyhed she sed. {chukkle}{choke} Uh, skyooz me, I am uh twyin' to not laff. I am bak in my bed now an' she habs to gwill. She bin runnin' da hoze twyin' to wash it away - hehehehe- its reely stikkin' tho. I'm a baaaaad boooy! HAHAHA! An' I not bord enny mor!

Da yeerly basset piknik

Ebry yeer we hab a big piknik on da day we wemembew da soljers dat died. Speshully cuz da slaves noo peepulls dat died an' dere famlies wuz in da wars. But reely speshully cuz dey luv bassets, basset peepulls, fwends, an' gud fuds. (At leest Vito 'n' me wike da gud fuds hehehe).

Dis yeer we habbed five ov us bassets - Dexter, hu can't see, but has a gwate sniffer; Horton, hu iz a widdwe shy; Cleo, hu rools wif a iwon paw; Vito, an' me. We gots lots an' lots of pets, snakkies, an' snooter kisses frum da peepulls. Eben Horton, hu wud uzhually stay by his mama.

It wuz code an' rayny. So Papa lit up da chimminee up an' da wood stove to keep da code away.
We eben habbed myoozik. Unka Jim bwot a gittar an' he pwayed an' sang songs to us.

I did not get fru da day wifowt gettin' in twubble. Dere wuz so much fuds on da taybul an' no buddy wuz by it. Get da pitcher?

Me chekkin' owt da taybul

I gots a pees ov cwakker, a cuppla liks ov cabbidj, sum hammy burger, an almos' got sum froot salad, sum roles, an' a fyoo udder fings neer da edj. I ayn't tewwin' no buddy whut else cuz den dey wud get madder. I did get putted in jale fer a wile. But I iz too cyoot to stay dere an' dey letted me owt to get pets an' luvved on agan. I can not wate untiw we do dis agan. I jus' luv pikniks.
 

Da chikken torcher

Mama putted chikken on da owt dore cukker. It wuz smewwin' soooo gud! Vito 'n' me wuz sneekin' up on dat an' gotted cawt by Mama. I wetweeted to da middul ov da yawd ware I wuz plottin' to ambush da cukker. Dis wuz me plannin':

Den she lokked us in da howse. :(

Too sad to keep ritin'.
Arfur

Wawkin' in da wain - I iz singin' agan

Jus' wawkin' in da wain,
Gettin' weelly wet,
Twakkin' in da mud
She didn't katch me yet!

Jus' wawkin' in da wain,
Stompin'  in da goo
Lookin' fer my hedgie
Da wun dat's bwandy new.

Wook owt heer she coms,
Drippin', chasin' me
Oops I fink she feww
In da puddwe dat I see.

Jus' wawkin' in da wain,
Stayin' owt of wreech,
Until sheez nise an' calm
An' I dont heer her skweech.

Jus' wawkin' in da wain,
Muddy eerz an' paws,
Twak akwoss da flore,
Sheez not chasin' ennymore.

Itz not eezy beein' gween

Gud mornin'!  AAARRROOOOOO!!! We bin hewpin' Papa in da bak yard. We habbed twubble wif da doggy dore so he bilt us a step. We wuz wippin up hiz gwass seeds, so he putted a widdwe bwidj fer us to cwoss it (we don't uze it). He wuz wettin down da sand on da stone fer sum weezin, so wee peed on dem. He sed fank yu fer yer hewp. But wast nite we wuz such gud hewps dat he gotted reel upset an' putted us in da howse. I fink we wuz makin' him wook bad. He sed to Mama - "Wook at deez dogs!!! Wy do dey hav to get rite in da way? Arfur habs gween eerz, tale, footies, an' snooter!" Vito - well yu can't teww cuz he iz bwown. I, Arfur, habs a lase eer wike awl da ladies luv. But it iz gween.

Papa sed to Mama to wash it off. She sed no, she habbed jus' mowed da hole lawn (2 1/2 akers ov gwass) an' wuz wiped owt. She sed it wiww com off eezier wen dwy. She sownded eebil wen she sed dat. "Arfur habs a date wif a stwipper" she sed. Uh, I dont fink she meened a wady on a pole. I iz nerbuss. Dis iz not gonna be fun. Hay! We did not see wet paynt! We seed Papa bwushin' da step an' da howse. An' supwize supwize - we iz NOZY! Dat iz whut we do. Scyooz me now cuz I gots to find sumpwayse to way woe so mebbee she fergets abowt it.
Soon-
Arfur

Hijinks

Da udder day, Mama n' Papa taked Gramma owt to eet. Gramma kin nebber eet awl her fuds so Papa finishes it an' den bwings home hiz fuds. Dis time wuz speshully gud. It wuz da yummiest stake we ebber eeted. YUM!!

 Fast frowerd to wast nite. A storm wuz commin'. I wuz sownd asweep. Vito awlways pwetens he is not afwade. But he wuz. He waked Mama up at free o kwok. He cwied an' cwied, den ran owtside befor it rayned. Den he commed back an' got in bed wif Mama an' Papa. Mama herd him coff a cupple times an get off an' on da bed, but he seemed ok, so after he did it the wast time, she feww asweep. Da alarm waked us awl up an' Papa gotted owt ov bed an' stepped into da hawl.  EEEEEWWWWW!!! He sed. In hiz bare feets he stept inna hyoodj pile of grass fro up. Wooked wike Vito cutted da grasses fer Mama. Awl ov dem. Papa kwik ran an' gotted ina shower cuz he fewt icky after dat. Meenwile Mama iz left to cween it awl up. Natchurly! Izn't dat whut Mama's do?

Adbenchur Tyme

Fer us howndz, fings hav been sorta kwiet wately. Dats wy u hab not herd ennyfing frum me. Mama an' Papa bin werkin' on da bak yard. Furst, dey taked away owr porch.

Wen da porch wuz bein' bilded

Den dey putted rocks dere. Den Papa putted gwavel an' sand an' now it iz awl hard. Papa putted fwat rox awl ober da owtside an' now it iz awl eben - no steps, no porch fense, jus' stone. Vito sez Papa cawed dem pay fers. Free times dey fiwwed dat twuk wif deze stonz. An' Papa werked wike cwazy puttin' dem down so we cud hav a pwase to wawk and lay down. Mama cawed it a paddy o. Now dey ar fixin' da gwass. Cuz Papa dug up a hole lot ov da yard makin' dis fing. Life habs bin vewy borin' fer Vito an' me.

Dats y wen I seed da gate open dis mornin', I fot it wuz tyme fer a 'benchur. Vito sed, "Wet's go!" So we did. Der wuz wots ov weely gud smewws owt der. I don't no how far we gode, but suddenwy der wuz a widdwe tap on my hed. I wukked up an' sumfin' sed go bak to da howse. I turned awownd jus' in tyme to see Vito wunnin' to Mama (hu I mus' say wooked vewy upset). I seed her take him in da yard, so I stopped fer a few mor snuffles. Den I seed her wunnin' to me, so I twotted in her defekshun - but oh! doze smewws! Mmmmmmebbee a few mor sniffs.  Suddenwy sumfin' urjed me to wun to her. Mebbee it wuz cuz she habbed on nuffin' but...weww, lets jus' say not fer pubwik vyoo. It wuz hard to get up da steps, but as soon az I gotted in da howse, Mama gibbed me a big ol' bone! Wow! Not too shur I wud go by myself agan. I kant heer nuffin an' dat makes it a widdwe skerry. Vito jus' wants to hab hiz cowch, an' me, I want my Mama.

Tiww nex' tyme,
Arfur

Hu iz gilty? A hownd dog mistery

AARROOOO!!! Arfur heer wif a puzzel fer yu. Papa iz werkin' in owr yard - an' by OWR, I meen Vito 'n' meez yard. So wen he iz runnin' da traktor (da big ol fing wif da hyoodj teef) bak der, we iz lokked in da howse. I go runnin' fer da doggy dore an' FUNK!!! OW! It be clozed. Now ware he iz werkin' der iz a spot fer roks, a spot fer widdwe roks, an bwandy noo dirt awl soft 'n' eezy to dig in.  Ya got dat? Soooo, Mama iz owt on poop patwol and seez a widdwe pees ov sellofane. She puwws on da korner an' gess whut? It iz whut iz leff ov a hole pakidj ov kwakkers.  Whoa! Wunner hu did dat? Not me. Vito sez not him. Possibwy Mama - no, not her. It shur wuz not Papa. Hmmmm...hu iz da digger heer? [wipes paws on rug] Hu? [rubs noze on sofa] Jus' kant figger dat wun owt. A reel mistery. Yup.

An' nudder fing iz da continyood bukket kontest. I hav shode Vito how to poop 'n' run. Gotta see hu can put da furst wun an' da last wun furvest apawt.  Wud yu beweev dat widdwe bwat wun dis wun? He putted wun on eech end ov da yard, wile mine wuz spwed akwoss haff da yard. HA!! Da Pippicat jus' tole me how he did it. He made 2 diffwent skwats. He did not run an' dwop wike I tole him. Cheeter, cheeter, poopy eeter!  Mama iz gettin' a widdwe tired ov dat bukket chawwenj.

Okay - nex' time we teww abowt da Eester baskit chawwenj or da toofy bone kontest. Kant be resslin' cuz I win evwy time.
Layter,
Arfur

Bare twakkin'

Da udder nite, we sniffed da big hyoodj ol' bare in owr fwont yard. Mama akshully went owt an' skerred him away. Wy wuz she bwave? Papa wuz in da barn wif NO FONE az uzhooal. Der wuz no way to warn him. She wuz afwayd dat cuz she put on da car awarm to skare da bare, dat papa wud com cuz dat iz da signull she yuzes to caw Papa. Vito an' me did not see, but we cud smeww da bare wuz dere. So wen Papa wuz doin' da demo on da porch, we axed Mama to go owt to potty. Dat ment owt da fwont dore. So owt we gode an' Vito wuz peepin' an' sniffin' an' peepin on ebery fing. Me? I wuz on a trale.  Mama fot I was goin' to da male box to get da junk male. Nope. My noze wuz leedin' da way. Wile she got da paypers owt ov da box, I wuz hedded fer da naybor'z dwiveway ware da bare went. She twied to stop me, but I put it in wo geer, wike Papa sez, an' puwwed. Wud yu beweev she wud not wet me go find him? She ackshully put hew sewf in wo geer an' puwwed me bak to owr dwiveway. But I kin find ware he gode. An' sum day if I ebber get fwee, I wiww find him! Fat chanse Mama sez. She nebber wettin' me woose - ebber!

In a naybors yard

Goin' to an nudder howse

Cwazy weekend

Furst ov awl, Vito an' me ar reelly reelly mad at Mama an' Papa fer missin' da Bordwaddwe. We wanted to see owr fwends! Nex', Papa an' Mama taked away owr porch dat we sun bave on. OK, it wuz bwoken in a cupple pwayses an' Papa had awl reddy taked da raylins frum awownd da edj, da step down to da gwill, an' da furnitcher. But to take da hole fing! He bwot da big wed monstew frum da barn wif da big ol' teef on it an' widdwe by widdwe taked it awl away.
 
 Mama bwot da widdwe bwoo monstew an taked away awl da widdwe peeses. Den Papa brot stones frum da dwiveway an' putted a hill fer Vito an' me to get owt an' in. Der wuz nuffin leff to sniff, not eben a scwap.
 
Den Papa's fwend came to vizit wif hiz six yeer ol' 2 legger. He iz afwade ov doggies so we sorta jus' ignored him. Howebber, suddenwy he wuz fun! He started to wun wike owr 2 legger Cwaig. Mama sed I habbed da biggest smiwe on my fase. I wan aftew him cuz it iz FUN! An' he wuz suddenwy skweeming an' wan so fast! He wan wite to hims papa hu skooped him up an' ended owr fun. Mama an' da udder mama wuz laffin' so hard dey cud not eben tawk. Mama sed sheer tewwow on da boys fase and sheer joy on owrs. Weww, we habbed at leest a minnit ov fun. Ennyways, we ar gonna get a nu doggy dore, a paddy oh, an' a hole diffwent bak yard. Eben if I miss da porch, it iz sorta gud in a way. No mor steps fer da ole man - me!

Whut happined to spwing?

Brrrrrrrrr!! Iz it safe to com owt frum under my bwankie? OUCH! Iz dat sunshine?? Afor las' nite it wuz snowin'!! Reelly! Wite stuff fawlin' frum da sky! Mama needs to get owt my swetter agan. Dis iz cwazy! Duz not hewp dat I iz sad cuz I am missin' da Bordwaddwe an' awl my fwends. 😭

We habbed a weerd day - Gwamma cawled an' fell - but dont werry sheez okay. Her feets wuz slippin' on da rug an' she cud not get up wifowt hewp. We cawed, dey hewped, an she is fine.

Next. A stwaynj car pawked at da fut ov owr dwiveway...dat iz 4 hundwed feets frum da house (Mama sez 100 but I mezhur by basset feets). He wawked up awlmos' to da howse, saw Mama's car, den went bak down. Den he wawked on da naybor's lawn and stared at da dore, den an nudder naybor. Mama wuz cweeped owt an' shudda cawwed da law. She did not. We did not woof at him neever. Cuz Mama sed no. So we wated. Da poleese sed der iz a pawson hu pwetends to seww sumfin' an' if no buddy iz home, bwakes in da bak dore. Gess ware Vito an' me wuz watin'! Yup. Yu got it! Vito wuz sharpenin'  hims toofies an' me, I do da takellin' - nok dem down den take 'em owt! But da man weft. We iz weddy if he coms bak. He wiww wish he pikked an nudder howse!

Now, can it pweeze get warm agan? Pweeeez? Untiw it duz, I'm snugglin' in da bwankie.
An' cud yu pweez say a pwayer fer my fwend Pw. Angel acwoss da pond? She iz sik an' we luvs her so much. Fanks.
Layter,
Arfur

On Stryke!

Hurry up, Veet! Kwik get yer eerz pwugged up! I puttin' my eer pwugs in rite now (not dat I kin heer nuffin ennyway!)  We reefyooz to lissen to Mama an' Papa cuz dey went owt to eet an' did not bwing us eben wun crum. No wite box! No bwak box! Nuffin' rapped in a nappykin. Zewo. Nuffin! I dare dem to ax me to do sumfin. Not happinen. After awl da hewp we givved Mama kleenin' up da yard, too! We wiww sho dem hu iz da boss! I am finkin' ov leevin' a spite wee. Let's see, ware to do it...hmmm...in Mama's shooz? Papa's werk boots? Maybe I shud choo sumfin' up insted. Wate!!! I see kween lawndwy!
Later..
Arf

My fwend Rooooody Patoody

Rudy Patoody

Tooday, Mama tode me dat my gud fwend Roooody haz gon to da bridj to vizit Bwossom an' Hugo. He wuz a yeer yunger dan me, so you see it wuz a sprize. Eben tho we nebber met, we wuz frendz owr hole lifes. I cwied so much, my dwool habs dride up. Mine eerz ar sokey wet cuz Mama ran owt ov tishoos. She keeps dwyin' her eyez on dem. So pweez fink ov my Antie Suzie hu iz hims mom an' hiz two legger sis, too.  Roooody wuz dere hole famly. I feel awl akey inside cuz ov bein' sad fer dem. Dere harts iz bwoken.  An' I wiww be sad fer a wong time.
Tiww we meet at da bwidj, Rooody...
Yer fwend Arfur

Arfur's bucket challenj

AAARRRROOOOO!!!! Feelin' mitey gud. Bin a ruff start to da noo yeer so we iz a widdwe wate, but heer I yam!! A lot haz happinned but we wiww rite abowt dat annudder time.

Today Vito an' me made up a challenj. We saw peepulls doin' a bucket game, so we gotted wun ov owr own. Evry day Mama goze inna yard an' scoops da poops into da bucket. So Vito an' me fot we wud make it a challenj by seein' hu cud put dere pile in da hardest playse to pik up. I went furst, an' putted my pile on a bunch o' leefs. It taked Mama a wile to get it owt ov dere, but not too long. Sheez pretty gud at it an' fwankly owr poopies are firm enuff to roll away frum da shuvel sumtimes. Vito's turn. He fownd sum fallen pine bwanches an' he putted his between dem den sckratcheded so the needuls an' da poopies wuz mixed up. OK. He wun dat wun. Nex' I putted mine neer da compost an scratched leefs ober it. She hadda werk at dat wun. Den it iz Vito agan. Dat widdwe raskal putted hiz on top ov a pile ov sticks!!! Wow! How cud I beet dat?!! Mama wuz sayin' sum not too pwetty werds gettin' dat wun. I satted on da porch plannin' how I cud beet dat wun. It wuz gonna be diffy cult. Awl ov a sudden I gotted a brillyunt fot!! I wented ober by da fense ware stiks had falled in da winter. Like Vito, I climed up an' putted my pile rite on top. Dats da same as hiz, yer sayin'. Dat's compy kat yer sayin'.  Nope. Cuz den I taked my big ol footy an' putted it rite in da middul ov da pile. I sined it! Wif my puddy! An' heer coms Mama wif da shuvvel. "Now how da hek iz I spozed to get dat, Arf? " Did not wet her see me giggul. Vito, he wuz rollin' on da grownd. Cud not beweev she figgured owt how to get it...she pikked it up stiks an' awl. Vito an' me cawed it eben. We ar bofe genees wen it coms to foolin' Mama.

Until nex' tyme -
Arfur