Rodes, cars, 'n' basset wuvvers

AAAaaahhhhroooo!!  Arfur here wif wots ov nooz.  O, wook!  Dey iz payntin' da linez on owr rode!  Dey jus' finnished da middle an' dere ar zillyuns ov widdle cones along da line. Nex' dey wiww paynt da lines onda edjiz ober da weeds an' ded possums an' stuff...wike normal.  I wunder if dey wiww wemember to com bak fer da widdle cones?  Wast time, dey wuz in such a hurry to get to da wocal pub dat dey fergotted dem an' dey wuz in da rode fer free dayz - wun, too, free.  I gess after dwinkin' at da pub dey did not wemember dat dey weft dem dere.  BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

O now I wemember whut I wuz gonna rite - got d'strackteded by da line payntin' menz.  Furst, I gotta teww yu whut Mama's car wooks wike.  It iz owd, (Vito sez o-l-d) wite, an' cuvvered wif basset magnets - sum reelly gud wuns!  She eben haz sum dat arn't on it yet.  Not da car yer normul peepull wud dwive.  A cuppla dayz ago, a man  at da gas stayshun Mama goze to, jumpeded into a wady's car, puwwed a nife, an' sed he wud kiww her if she did not take him ware he wanted to go.  I hav to beweev it wuz a gway toy yoda or sumfin' wike dat whut wud bwend in.  Da lady skweemed weelly weelly lowd an' da man jumpeded owt an' ran but gotted cawt.  Der iz no chance dat ennybuddy wud take Mama's car wike dat.  Furst ov awl it iz abowt az vizibull az a pig in a pizza parler.  Secund, Mama iz daynjeruss!!  Reelly, she iz!  I wud not want to tangull wif her cuz furst she wud hurt him, den she wud skweem, den she wud cawl wun ov her fwendz on da poleesse to put him in jayl.  But furst ov awl, no way wud he chooz her car.  Reelly.

An' gess whut my wakky mama did?  She an' Papa wer dwivin' neer PetsMart wun nite an Papa spotted a man wif 2 basset hounds.  He turned into da parkin' wot (so Mama cud see da bassets), drove up to da man so he habbed him in hiz hed wites, den Mama jumpeded owt an' ran up to see dem.  Da man sorta bakked up a widdle an' cleerly wundered ware dis cwazy womin camed frum.  Mama tode him she wuvs bassets an' habs 2 an' habs hewped reskew fer firteen yeerz.  He wooked reweeved an' tole her he wuz from Florry Duh an' dat wun ov da bassies wuz a reskew.  I fink he wuz reddy to run, reelly.  I awso fink he wuz toe tully releeved wen Mama gotted bak in da truk.  He den twied to hurry to da dore ov da PetsMart az fast az he cud wif wun basset doin' a fwat basset an' wun pullin' da udder way.  Hehehe..did not get too far.  Dat wuz wun seeryuss fwat basset!  Hahahaha!
Till nex' time
Arfur