2 in wun day

Ok, not bin postin' cuz da mama habs bin sik.  So now I gotta ketch up a fyoo fings.  Will start wif dis day an' go bakwerds.
Dis day Mama taked me an' Vito in da car.  We wuz reely happy an' awl reddy to shop an' get chikky nuggits. NOT.  Az soon az she turneded down da mowntin an' not up to da storez I noo we wuz in trubble.  Den wen we drove into da parkin' place I wuz shur ov it!  Vito, he waggies hiz tale no matter whut no matter ware.  He jus' wun happy fella.  Awlso, I dont fink heez dat grate at r'memberin'.  So heer we wuz at da vetman.  Vito goed furst an' wud yu beleev it - he gotted 8 pownds bigger!!!  Da vetman sez no fat...dat he iz in gwate shape - wike me!  So now we iz wun number on eech side ov 50 pownds.  I sat by da dore bein' reelly gud cuz I wuz hopin' dat dey wud ferget I wuz dere.  Not a peep did I make.  I saw da doc giv Vito FREE shots!!  Wun in da back, wun in da sholder, an' wun neer hiz hiney!  Only wun made him eben luk and he yiped on dat wun.  Ok, now I be nerbuss - wait - I wuz nerbuss befor, but now I am reelly REELLY nerbuss.  Vito gets down, I get on da scale, an' gess ware da bonehed iz?  On da scale wif me!  I DO NOT WAY OBER 100!  Mama gets him off an' den dey put me on da taybul.  After gettin' feeled eberyware, da doc gibbed me my free shots an' I did not eben flinch.  Cuz I am brave.  But to tell ya da troof, I nebber gotted free shots befor - only 2.  I gotted Lyme like Vito gets cuzza da bad tiks dis yeer.  Now, bak in da car, bak up da mowntin, bak up da driveway, into da howse - I GOT DA SOFA!!!! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............