Shhh...hidin' frum mama

I fot Mama wuz mad at me frum da swiffy caper. Didn't fink she cud get enny madder.  O wuz I rong.  Dis mornin' she an' Papa wuz yakkin' away an' I wuz remindin dem dat it wuz time to eet.  WOOF!  I sed - wanna EET!! Dey jus' kep on tawkin' bowt a Clint whuttebber dat iz an' a ruby - o  an' a rum knee an' den wuz awl chatty bowt a cardnal bird name do - lin (dat dey gotted to meet an' wuz awl chatty den abowt it, too).  I don't care whut dat stuff iz abowt - I WANNA EET!!  An I WANNA EET NOW!   So I went down da stares.  Wen Mama an' Papa camed down, Mama wuz sayin'"hmmm...how did my cloze get on da flore?  Dey  wuz on da hamper! An' HMMM!  Hu taked my skwid (she did not yuze dat werd)!!!  Doggon it Arfur yu iz a bad boy - I meen a BAD BOY!"  An' she pikked up da broked skwid an' gotted reel kwiet.  Skerry kwiet. Den she went in da kitchin an' made coffee, made Papa's fud, pakked hiz lunch - no doggy food. Oh-oh. An' dere wuz no doggy fud until she wuz awl dun.  Oops.  I hidin' now.   She bein' reel nice to Vito.  I fink she gonna GET me, if ya no whut I meen.  Shhh...don' teww her ware I am. Dis mite take a cuppla dayz.  She putted da skwid wif da unders I had yesterday  wif da holes in da middwe. Hey, so she gonna sag on wun side an' be cool on da bottom! I nebber comin' owt...

Arfur