Waach dawgs

AAARRROOO!!  Gud day frum Arfur. Vito 'n' me slep awl day an' only wokeded up a cupple times to swap seets, go owt an' pee, an' wunce wen dere wuz sumbuddy dat did not belong at owr dore. Mama wuz up puttin' away cloze an' stuff an' awl ov a sudden Vito's wooked wike a porky pine. Hiz hares wuz standin' strate up an' he wuz buzzin' in hiz frote. Now, bein' a seenyer hownd, I did not heer whut he did, but my snooter pikkeded up a stranger! Mama sed it wuz creepy cuz we did not woof an' we stud reel still.  She wooked owt da upstares an' dere wuz not a car. So she went bak to werkin'. But we stayed on gard awl day long. Wen' Papa camed home, we went bak to nappy (after wots ov hiya papa hiya papa hiya papa woofs). Now later, Mama an' Papa go nitenite. I go owt den com to bed. Vito, goed owt an' stayed owt, keepin' gard an' wawkin' da fense line. Mama habbed to get owta bed an go down an' get him (bofe ov dem wuz not happy abowt dat!) Got him up da steps an' omigosh she shutted da dore! Dey nebber do dat! But Mama sed we wuz actin' so creepy awl day, she wuz not gonna let us keep her up awl nite. So whut happinned? We ackshully snoozed awl nite long until da moozik came on to wake dem up. Huh! S'prize!! Now, whut we gonna do today? Hmmm...I am shur we wiww find sumfin' to keep her a lert.
Til nex' time,
Arfur

Vito iz not dis smaww enny mor  - he iz az big az me