Waach dawgs

AAARRROOO!!  Gud day frum Arfur. Vito 'n' me slep awl day an' only wokeded up a cupple times to swap seets, go owt an' pee, an' wunce wen dere wuz sumbuddy dat did not belong at owr dore. Mama wuz up puttin' away cloze an' stuff an' awl ov a sudden Vito's wooked wike a porky pine. Hiz hares wuz standin' strate up an' he wuz buzzin' in hiz frote. Now, bein' a seenyer hownd, I did not heer whut he did, but my snooter pikkeded up a stranger! Mama sed it wuz creepy cuz we did not woof an' we stud reel still.  She wooked owt da upstares an' dere wuz not a car. So she went bak to werkin'. But we stayed on gard awl day long. Wen' Papa camed home, we went bak to nappy (after wots ov hiya papa hiya papa hiya papa woofs). Now later, Mama an' Papa go nitenite. I go owt den com to bed. Vito, goed owt an' stayed owt, keepin' gard an' wawkin' da fense line. Mama habbed to get owta bed an go down an' get him (bofe ov dem wuz not happy abowt dat!) Got him up da steps an' omigosh she shutted da dore! Dey nebber do dat! But Mama sed we wuz actin' so creepy awl day, she wuz not gonna let us keep her up awl nite. So whut happinned? We ackshully snoozed awl nite long until da moozik came on to wake dem up. Huh! S'prize!! Now, whut we gonna do today? Hmmm...I am shur we wiww find sumfin' to keep her a lert.
Til nex' time,
Arfur

Vito iz not dis smaww enny mor  - he iz az big az me

We ar innosent

AARRROOO!! Arfur heer. I am gonna do my vewy best to rite bedder sinse I am a big boy now...elebben yeers old!!

Now, dis is whut happinned dis mornin' - or mebby I shud start wif last nite. Mama habbed cutted da grasses, did da wash, fixeded her sucky masheen (da eevil skerry wun!!) an' suckeded da hares offa da rug, started supper an dat funny bell fingy rang. We cud heer it wuz Papa. Da truck wud not start. Meantime, Mama tryin' to get evryfing reddy cuz Papa has to see da toofy doc. Whelp, Papa gotted a ride home, went to da toofy doc, - 'member now Mama iz drivin'...she went to da store meentime an' den taked Papa for da part (after da toofy fixin' guy) whut she gotted on da 'puter.

 Fast forwerd...dis mornin' she gotted his cloze, makeded hiz lunch, maked dat coffee an' brekfast, gotted hersself reddy an' went to drive him to werk. OOPS. Needs her glasses.  Runs to desk ware glasses sit on Mr. Peepers. Puts dem on an' sez a bad werd. Whut happinned?? Sumbuddy putted noze pwints on her gwasses so she cud not see nuffin!  NUFFIN!! Hey, not me!  I bin a bad boy, but I nebber tuched Mr. Peepers EBBER. I lukkin' at Vito...don't fink he cud get up dere eben if he iz a climer (and he iz). Waytaminnit! Do yu heer dat? Psssssttt!! Meoooww! Meow! Dat Pippicat tried to fwame us!! She iz da gilty wun! An' dere iz Mama lettin' her owt da dore az she is leevin' to take Papa to werk. She did not eben get scolded.  How come owr eeerz get skorched wen we iz bad - "BAD DOG!! Yu shud not do dat!!"  Why I not am heerin' "BAD KITTY! Yu shud stay down!" Life iz not fare. Hahaha...luk at dat! Vito iz drinkin' up her water an' taked awl her kitty tweats owta da dish! Gud fer him! Gettin' evin iz da BEST! Stoopid cat!
Till nex' time..
Arfur

Bak in da blogger agan

AAARRRROOO!! Arfur heer, an nudder yeer older an' a widdle mor machoor, but still feelin' spunky an' ov corse in trubble az yuzual.  Wet me say HIYA to awl my ode fwends an' to enny newbeez dat ar reedin diss.

I hav a vewy impawtant job now. I keep my widdle brudder owt ov trubble an' keep my mama frum divin' bak into her shell. Mama tried to teech me to hide Papa's buzzy saw an' loppy sheerz, but he kin go ware I cant. Vito an' me bin tryin' to ketch a widdle buzzy fingy dat Mama caws a hummer. Awl Vito gets ar fwies, beez, an' wunce in a wile, a moff. Ya see, he kin clime on da tabul an' me, not so much. Dats wy I am Leadbottom.

Vito eetin' a fwy (yu no, da buzzy kined)

Eben tho owr gotes iz gon, we still habs sumfin' jus' like dem.  Vito sez dey iz deerz. Wun gots big ol' hornies an' da rest dont. Dey com evry day awl da time an' sweep owtside owr fence in da bushes an' by da frunt dore in da grass. I fink dere ar mor ov dem awl da time, but hay, dey awl luk da same wike Wabrador Weetweevers do.

Arfur machoor an' wize

Whelp, it iz my nappy time an' I wiww be bak dis nex day. Dunt wurry, I wont dis apeer agan. I iz bak werkin' on a noo bookie. I may be slow, but wissen, I hav to deepend on my Mama to type sinse I gots no fums an no pinkies so typin' iz imp..uh, not eezy.
Til nex tyme..
Arfur

Da free legger hedjehoggy

Ebery mawnin' I wake Mama up wif kisses...wait - dats not twoo.  Furst I butt her in da bak ov da hed, DEN I gib her kisses.  If she gets up kwik enuff, I stay owt ov trubble.  But cuz she iz gettin old she iz movin' slower so I run down da steps an' if dere iz a pare ov pants handy, I choo off da buttin.  But sumtimes I am gud an' get my hedjyhog to keep me owt ov trubble.  Hmm..dis time I musta gotted confyoozed.  I gotted my hedjyhog (an' I AWLWAYS take gud care ov my hedjyhogs) an' I bited off hiz leg.  Did not hurt hiz body, but now he iz a free legger hedjehoggy.  Mama wuz way too slow gettin' owr brekfist.  Dat iz Vito's fawlt cuz he gotsta hav soff fuds.  So Mama haz to get it reddy insted ov jus' frowin' kibble inna dish.  So now my noo hedjehoggy iz a free legger.  Cuzza Vito.
Tiww da nex tyme,
Arfur

Da unvizibull dog strikes agan

Mama waked up at free a.m. to da sownd ov skreeming.  Lowd, skerry skreeming wuz owtside da howse.  I wuz a smart boy an' stayed in my bed.  Mama, on da udder hand, seed dat Vito wuz not heer, wuz down stares, so she gwabbed da lite an' dasheded down da steps in her jammies (not warm wuns).  Vito beeted her owt da dore eben wen she tole him NO.  Owt she runned, shinin' da lite arownd tryin' to find Vito, hu inside or owt iz unvizibull.   She wuz hopin' to ketch hiz eyez cuz dat iz da only way to see him.  Az she cawt him in da lite, da lite also shined in da wuds an' gess whut!!  A nickzillyun deers came cwashing fru da wuds, fru da gote pen, ober da fenses in a panik.  Da skreemin' iz DEM!  She fot it wuz a fox or a rabbit bein' kiwwed (dey sownd awful).  Ok, now she dont wanna skere da deers so she iz yellin' to Vito to go inna howse.  He not only not lissen, he vanishez.  Ok, she iz freezin', her hart iz powndin', she iz mad, skerred, an' upset wif da widdle bwat.  Froze up her hanz an' goze inna howse.  She not climin' fru da stikker bushes to get da snotty widdle bwat.  Finely he coms in an she loks da doggy dore, loks us inna bedroom, an' twies to go bak to sweep...HAH.  A cupple howrs layter, I butt her wif my snooter, den kiss her onna wips to wake her up.  She iz not frilled.  But she gibbed me a skritch an' a hug an' tole me whut a gud boy I wuz to not go runnin' owt to hewp Vito last nite (whut I wud normully do).  She did say da poop angel wuz watchin' ober her, cuz inna dark last nite, she did not get enny on her swippers.  Gud fing. I bet she takes a nappy dis day.  Her peepers wook priddy red.
I fink my sekruterry iz bak, so I wiww be ritin' agan eech day.
Later,
Arfur
P.S. - Da skreemin' wuz lowder dan diss:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdrY9GirB9U

Two firty alarm

 Evwybuddy wuz sweepin' wast nite.  Mama an' Papa wuz vewy tard an' feww asweep erly.  Mama sed she fot she wuz dweemin' but den az she woke up a widdle she fot, "Hu da heck's dawg iz woofin' at dis howr ov da nite??"  Az she opinned her peepers, she seed da owtside lite on. Uh-oh. She wooked...Papa wuz asweep, me wuz sweepin' on my Antie Angelika bed, an'...oh NOOOO!!!  "Vito!  It's VITO!  Gosh darnit its two firty in da mornin'!!!"  She gwabbed da fwash lite an' wimped down da steps.  Opins da dore - brrrrrRRRRR!!!  It's reeeellly code owt.  She starts yellin', "Vito!!  Get inside!"  Shines da lite arownd (cuz he iz divizibull) an' seez hiz shiny ieys.  "Get in heer rite NOW!" she sez.  Skyooz me bowt da bad punk chew wayshun.  Vito starts crunchin' hiz way to da howse, but haz a hard time wawkin' on da icy snow.  Mama cud heer evry step - crunch, crink, crunch.  An' finely he iz in.  But now Arfur, me, cums to save da day!!  I zoom owt da dore.  "Fer cryin' owt lowd!!!" sez Mama.  Shuvs Vito up da steps, opins da dore an' shines da lite.  I iz pikkin' my way down da yard wif my noze to da grownd.  Suddinly, it's wike a jiant hand gwabbed me an' puwwed me to ward da porch.  "COOKIEEE!"  Oh no!  Da madjik werd!!  It yanked me owt ov my trale an rite bak into da dore.  Der iz nuffin' so powerfuw!!  An' dere it wuz...da kukkie...sigh.   An' dere iz Mama madder dan a buzzy bee  an' sendin' me up da steps wif da kukkie in my mowf.  She gotted bak in bed but in a few minnits da owtside lite camed on agan.  Ok, now we ar clozed in da bedroom.  It be nun ov us. Whutebber it iz bedder luk owt cuz Mama iz on da warpaff.  Down da steps she goze wif uz lokked upstares.  Opins da dore, shines da lite...no shiny eyez enny place.  No crunchy feet.  Sheez finkin' dat dere wuz nun befor eever.  So do we teww her?  She gonna get madder.  No crunchies  if yer wawkin' in da street.  No shiny eyes cuzza da bushes.  She cheks on da Pippicat...she iz inside cuz it iz too cowd.  No bare...awl da feeders iz dere.  Not da deerz..da corn iz stiww dere.  No cars, no nuffin'.  Eben da littlest skwirrel makes a crunchy sownd...no footsteps.  Bak up da steps, Papa sez, "Bet its da man.  Da man wif da doggy wissull."  An' ya no whut?  He iz rite.  We bawk at him wen he wawks by at supper time - onwy him.  Why?  Cuz he teezes us an' Papa sez he habs a speshul wissull.  It hurts owr eerz.  Furst time at nite in a wong time, but gess whut?  Heez baaa-aak.
Betcha we gets wokked in da bedroom tonite.
Soon,
Arfur

La la la LA la la la...Mi mi mi MI mi mi meeee

Sins I gots Mama twapped in da howse wif da deep snoze, I bin pwacktissin my voyss.  Last week I got started cuz wen Vito an' me went owt in da yard, we seed a MONSTER under da back porch.  It wuz hyoodje an we habbed to wet Mama see it wuz dere.  So I WOOF WOOF WOOF-ED as wowd az I cud an she maked me com in side.  Wokked da doggy dore.  So I wined an' I skritched an' made her fink I reeeellly habbed to go owt.  Doggy dore open, me owt an' woofin' at da monster agan.  After abowt a zillyun times ov diss, Mama camed owt wif a lite an' lookeded, but dat monster hided so she cud not see it.  "BAD ARFUR!  WY YU WOOF AT NUFFIN!!"  IN DA HOWSE!!"  I gotted so much pwaktiss dat day dat I fot dis wud be a gud day to pwaktiss sum mor.  So I binn woofin' an Vito bin winin' an' we iz makin ' reelly gud myoozik.  But I dont fink Mama appreesheeaytes it too much.  She sez, "whutchoodoin' Arfur??  Huh??'  An' I jus' smile an' say 'AAARRRROOOO!!!"

Happy shuvvelin'. Da sno be over owr hineys here.

Arfur